Why do it?
Before you dish the marching orders, work out why you want to ditch them. Make a list of the reasons. Being clear about why you want out makes it easier to explain. If you tell them straight, you'll save a lot of time and stress. Fob them off with made-up excuses and they'll be harder to shake off.
Choose your time
Pick the right time to do it and don't delay. If you string them along they'll be double-gutted when you do chuck them. When you're washing your hands of a long-term love, try to be tactful. Don't dump them the day before an exam, or on their birthday - even if they've done something really naughty.
Pick the right place
It's not a great idea to do it at their house. If they get weepy you don't need a mouthful from their mum or dad. If you think they'll lose it, choose a public place in case things get out of hand. Parties, or places where your mates hang out, are not a good choice. It's not cool to embarrass your future ex - everyone will think you're out of order.
When you're ready...
When it's time to do the deed, follow these simple dumping rules:
- Keep the stress levels low. There's no need to be cruel but don't go too soft either.
- Be direct, diplomatic and sensitive.
- Avoid getting too personal. They'll remember your words for a long time...
- Don't let them talk you out of it. You've thought about this long and hard and you know it's the right thing to do.
Remember: They'll be happier in the long run - and you'll both be free to go after someone brand new!
Written by Kevin Darling
Last updated June 2007
Further help and advice
Disclaimer: The BBC cannot be held responsible for the content of external websites
Previous article
anon, 21
I've been trying to have rid of my long term partner of 5 years for two of them now, i do love him but there's just no spark left in our relationship, my advise is do everything i haven't done, be straight forward, tell the truth and don't let tears and promises come between what you really want, i could have had the last two years of my life enjoying it, but instead it's been guilt ridden for trying to leave every 2 mins!!! Life goes on and people get over it even if it does take time, i have now realised that, however hard it is!
onelife
relationships_all_dumping_your_boyfriend_girlfriend