Rape
Rape is forcing someone to have sex, without their consent. It is terrible, terrifying and devastating for the survivor. It is the crime women fear most.
First, the myths. All total 100% bull. Zero tolerance on this sort of rubbish:
- Women ask for it when they go out in short skirts/tight tops. They make it happen.
- Men can't help themselves. They get so fired up, it's natural.
- Girls say no when they mean yes. It's part of the game.
- You can't be raped by your boyfriend. It's your duty to sleep with him.
Now for the facts
- About 5% of women are raped at some point in their life.
- It's not just the girls. About one in ten rape victims is a man.
- Only 17% of rapes are performed by strangers. We are much more likely to be raped by someone we know.
- Only 20% of rapes are reported to the police.
How can I stop it happening to me?
Women aged 16-24 are especially vulnerable. We may be more likely to be out alone. We may not feel confident enough to say "No" or fight back.
Here's our checklist:
- Alcohol. Keep your drinking safe. How can we watch our backs when we're off our heads?
- Make sure someone knows whom you are with and where you are going.
- Avoid travelling alone, but don't accept lifts from strangers.
- Trust your instincts. If you feel uneasy - get out. No apologies, no backwards glances.
I have been raped. What should I do?
You've been through a terrible ordeal so thinking straight might be impossible. But you really must consider reporting your rape, this is for your own safety and well-beaing, and that of others.
Being silent only helps your attacker. And telling someone means you can get the physical checks and support you need.
Who should I tell?
First, tell a trusted friend and preferably an adult.
Then either call the police. Or visit your GP or local sexual health centre ASAP. They will advise what to do. And not tell anyone (including the police) unless you say so.
Why the rush?
The sooner we are checked over after a rape, the quicker we can be sure we're physically OK. And the more likely the police are to find the forensic evidence they need to secure a conviction.
There are many experts who can help you make sense of what happened and look after you while you do. You may never forget being raped, but you can move on. Be strong. You'll come through this. One step at a time.
Further help and advice
Rape Crisis (England and Wales)
Rape Crisis (Scotland)
The Havens
Police advice on street safety
Government advice for rape victims
Written by Dr Melissa Sayer
Last updated 17th June 2007
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Private R.K, 13
I really think that all those who have attacked someone should go to jail!! i really like my cousin and i feel strongly 4 him but if he does something like this i wouldn't konw what 2 do but this website has helped me alot. thanks!
Rebecca, 13
Even if someone is just touching you & you find it offensive then tell them!..a "friend" from school starting touching me & trying to put his hands down my top & up my skirt. I didnt feel threatend as he was the same age as me & if you understand this he was very sexual, but once i told him i didnt have the same feelings he stopped. If you dont say anything then there not gunna relise!!
_____, 15
Its been about a year and i still dont think im fully over it. when i was on holiday in france i was raped by a boy i hardly knew. thinking about it now its all a blur and im not quite sure what happened but i know it hurt alot. ive only recently told my closest freind about it because i felt so ashamed, but i now know it wasnt my fault and i feel so much better for telling someone. if this happens to you tell someone staright away because ive learnt it doesnt help keeping it inside
Kelly, 42
I was raped when I was 15 on a PGL holiday in France.I was so young a naive that I didnīt even know how to describe what had happened, so kept it to myself.I went through a stage of blaming myself, of being depressed, and things finally came out when I tried to kill myself a couple of months later.If this happens to you, please, please get help from a friend, parent or trusted adult - the sooner you have help to deal with the trauma, the better you will survive.Just trust yourself!
Jon, 23
I was raped by my 'best' male friend at the time when i was 16. I went through self harm and alcohol abuse in trying to cope with it and I didnt tell anyone for 6 months. Talking about it does help and it gets easier coping with what happened. Talk to a friend or your parents/teacher/councillor and it does get better. It doesnt make u any less of a guy either as I thought and felt at the time.
Emma, 14
I was going out with a lad who was 17 and he pressured me to kiss him and other minor things, however he soon started pressuring me to do other things, and finally have sex with him after i persistantley said no, he forced me, and it happened again 4 days later. I told the police 3 weeks after it happened however it was hard to come to terms with. If you have ever been raped...tell someone..it relaxes you slighty, and makes it easier to get over. Thanks
Louise , 15
Last year my best friend asked me for a talk in private. What she had to tell me was awful. She had been raped. She showed me cuts and bruising all on her upper legs, arms and neck. Her attacker had held her down by her neck so she couldnt struggle. It happened a week before she told me. Her attacker had been a stranger she had met in a nightclub. He had told her if she told a soul he would come back with a knife and cut her up while she was still alive. In the end she told me after reading this site...i just want to say thanks, she had contacted the police and her mum and dad and we are all helping her get through it - it will take a while but thanks to the BBC her attacker will get what he deserves.
...., 16
Some one tried to come onto me and i kept on sayin no, but they kept persisting.! I ran away as fast as i could! I was terrified, and it was some one i knew! I tole my friends and teachers and they helped me. If you do get sexually abused then you should tell some one because it does help!!
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