What are you scared of?
I’m scared of spiders, heights and most traffic wardens. Ok, ok – and mice, snakes and airplanes taking off.
We all have stuff that gives us the jitters. But a phobia is different for two reasons:
We are really, really afraid. We may get a big time panic even thinking about it. We avoid and worry about our phobia so much that it gets in the way of our lives. And stops us doing stuff we’d like to do.
About 10% of us have a phobia. This can be to just about anything. I once knew someone with a phobia of photocopiers. But half of all phobias are due either to fear of being in company (this is called social phobia) a fear of being in a situation from which there is no escape (agoraphobia).
Why do phobias happen?
For most of us, these are the steps. Let’s take thunderstorms as an example
Caught in thunderstorm one day, we get scared sh*tless
We develop a bad memory about thunderstorms...
So we start taking steps to avoid being out in the rain
Time passes and storms start to become a really big deal
We get more scared, and soon we can't do stuff on stormy days
We have a phobia
How can I cure my phobia?
First up, list all the reasons you really want to. Start with "Because I want to control my life". Make sure you include all the things you could do if your phobia wasn’t in the way.
Next, try one of two methods:
Systematic desensitisation
This is the safest and gentlest way to solve a phobia. We gradually build up how much we can deal with:
- Start by looking at pictures of thunderstorms
- Then listen to soundtracks of thunder
- Watch films showing storms
- Go out in a light shower
- Watch a storm from the window
- And so on. You get the idea
With each step:
- Take slow, deep breaths through your nose.
- Tell yourself: "I can do this".
- And stick at it till it’s not scary any more.
- Go easy on yourself – if you have setbacks, just start again. In time you’ll be signing up for Thunderstorm Watch with Bill Oddie.
Flooding
This is not for the faint hearted. Take a deep breath and just get out in that storm. Terrifying, but exhilarating. Twenty minutes later, we’re wet through. But cured. At least – that’s the idea.
If you get no joy from helping yourself – call in the experts. Sometimes a problem shared is a problem halved. There are counsellors and psychologists, expert in techniques for overcoming and understanding phobias. You needn’t deal with this alone. Ask your GP.
Further help and advice
The Phobics Society
First Steps to curing phobias
Understanding phobias
Written by Dr Melissa Sayer
Last updated 17th June 2007
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tiffany, 16
im really disgusted of feet.. i puke wenever someone puts there feet near me or touch mine.. every one thinks im weird b.c of it.. and they touch mii feet jus to annoy me and make me puke!
Amie, 16
i have a phobia of buses i cant get on when there to packed, i think everyone is looking at me!
Coco, 16
I'm absolutely scared of animals..it's really bad..i can't even deal with dogs .. god i hate it..:(
Carmen, 15
I have a phobia of throwing up. It is my worst fear and what I think is the worst experience in the world. If someone is feeling sick near me or throws up I try and stay as far away from them as possible because I'm so scared of catching something and throwing up myself. How can I get over my biggest fear? Someone please help me!
Ella, 14
I used to have a phobia of 'school germs' which escalated to being scared of nearly all the places I went out in. I had to have a shower everytime I went out when I got home and then I wouldnt touch anything that I had touched before I had had the shower. I ahd to get a new towel everytime I had a shower and changed my clothes if I touched anything that was 'contaminated'. Fortunately, I got over it and am now unlimited to what I do :)
Adam, 20
I'm 20 years old, and my phobia of spiders are ruining my life!! I can't look at a picture of a spider, I can't even think about them, even the picture at the top of the screen made me jump. I can't even go in the same building if I know a spider is there. I don't know why! It gets worse every year!!
Rhiannon, 12
i know this is weird but i hate people touching my wrists! it seriously creeps me out, i dont even let my best friends do it.
sian, 17
i'm terrifed of dogs. i don't know why i am because i havn't had a bad situation with one before but i just am. i can look at pictures of dogs, i can cope with dogs coming towards me when they are with their owner and on a lead. but what i dont like is when they just run on their own, i know they need their freedom, but it really terrifies me.
Jess, 17
I have a phobia of walking over three man holes in a row...i cant do it i knock into people to try and avoid it, its ridiculas, but I've practically trained myself since i was kid to avoid them
Phobia boy , 16
First I think that the surgery is so good, I listen every week, and Kelly, you are so good, and make me laugh. Right I have a few fear and phobias that I think loads of other people will have, but people don’t like to talk about it.First my fears, just the usual, spider, and an odd one, foot balls, I just cover up when I see one.But I have a phobia: been in a public toilet with someone else in the room. I wont go to a urinal atall (never in 16 years). If I go to a public toilet, I go all shaky, I just will walk out if someone is already in there, and if I am really desperate and I force myself to go, I will just stand there (in the cubical) and just can’t go, even though I need it. I have this image of loads of people standing outside waiting for me to go all staring at the door. If I go when there is no one in there, I am fine, but still start to panic if I hear someone walking nearby. This can be a real pain like at school, of when travelling. But it is weird that I can go in the bushes or at home fine. Thanks Kelly p.s. why on the phobia page, do you have a huge picture of a spider, this just made me close the page!
Leigh,
I am self harming again. I'm scared of not doing it because of the effects I have when I don't I'm so scared I've got to the edge. I'm not an "emo" or anyone people would see as self harming but when I don't do it I cry so much and have to make myself go to sleep. Neither things are particularly healthy.
Dean , 17
I have a HUGE phobia of wasps and its really bad ill be with some friends and a wasp will fly near and i have to run away fromt he group and cant go back until i can see that its gone!! and ive never been stung but my brother has and both where bad experiences so hes scared my lil sis is and i am also... its really bad... i wish one would just sting me and then i could deal with the pain and maybe even think 'that wasnt so bad' but Meh :(
anonymous, 15
I have a social phobia. I can't even walk into a store without getting nervous, and paranoid that everyone around me is whispering,or judging me negatively. The worst part about it is the more people their is in the store the redder my face gets,and the more paranoid I get. I can't stand it anymore, having this phobia does get in the way of your life. It makes me not even want to leave the house.
heather, 15
i had a fear of heights i think i might have gotten over it cause me and sister went to see nickleback and we were on the top tyre and i got really scared but i was ok after a bit and when i think of it i dont feel scared
mikey, 20
im the oldest poster here, but i aguarantee no one is more scared of spiders as me, i can not bare them in the slightest, im a big strong lad, who would rather get in a boxing ring with mike tyson than have a garden spider in my bedroom aaaahhhh!!!!
Hana, 15
i'm scared of a couple of things. one is spiders. I know that they can't do anything to me, but whenever i see one, however small (this includes money spiders) i freeze and scream. if it is particularly big i have to keep watching it, which makes me cry and shake lots. i dont like being touched by people i dont know either, like brushing past them or anything makes me scared and shake. i think im going to seek proper help about the spider thing, because now i cant go into a room without making sure there isnt one. anywhere. x
Millie, 15
I have a phobia of the dark. It really freaks me out. If i wake up in the night and need the tiolet, i will lie in bed until it gets light. Once i was sleeping in a tent in my garden and me and my friend needed the toilet, i had to phone my mum (at 2 or 3 in the morning) to turn on all the security lights so it wasnt dark. I also have a fear of deep water but it is kind of the same as my fear of the dark, as well as being scared of not being able to reach the bottom i get scared because i cant see what is beneath me.
Melissa, 17
i have a fear of the dark. when it nighttime i make sure to turn on the lights in whatever room i'm in and i get fearful that if the lights goes out, and i can't stand to be near a dark area at all. i even get terrified of sleeping in my room! my brother thinks i'm wierd and babish about it and my parents complain about the waste of light. but now reading this site, i realise there is a way that i can cure my fear, and that what i'm going to do! thank you! :)
Tony, 11
I am claustrophobic too. Once when I was small some kids jumped on top of me and I was screaming and everything. I was crying afterwards for ages.
Jess, 16
I very very very scared of spiders and cant deal with it at all... one crawled up onto the sofa and I screamed and screamed and couldnt move until it was almost on me then i had to run off... but i couldnt stop looking @ it just incase it disappeared + the fact that i wont know where it is scares me even more :( I end up almost crying whenever i see one, my whole family thinks im pathetic + that i need to do something about it but i dont really want to... i dont want to LIKE spiders!!!!! i cant possibly imagine NOT being petrified of them. Which is stupid because i know they cant do anything to me! The only other thing im scared of really is germs and stuff... but i thibnk thats more OCD than a phobia, like i get aclean tea towel out everytime i wash my hands... and wash my hands alll the time. Im getting a little better though, its just frustrating when u feel stupid + pathetic but u cant do anythign about it!!!!
Flo-Jo, 13
I was extremely scared of Gas masks because of the empty child on doctor who. In year 6 we all went into the library and boys were taking the mick and showing me pics of gas masks. I screamed so much that the teacher told me off. It has worn off now. It helped most when I was looking at cartoon pics of them, cause I knew it wasn't real.
caz, 13
i have a fear of heights and things that move quick, i have never been on a ride at fair now matter how babish it is, i horse ride so it has helped me a bit with the fast moving but i a terrified of heights still
jade, 16
i have a fear of giving birth, i dont no why i have it but when i was in school we watched a film about it and i think it has made me scared. i hate the thought of giving birth, but i think i also have a fear of pain to. it makes me sick of the thought of giving birth but i really want to over come it as i some day want a family. x
Jethro , 14
I have a phobia of sex and Women.
brooke, 15
i am absolutley TERRIFIED of spiders , i cant even look at a picture of one . once there was one in my bathtub & i really needed a pee but i held it in for 6 hours until someone came home and killed it . even after that it took me ages to get me back in the bathroom lol .
Sarah, 17
i have a phobia of sea water and dirt my little brother pics things up that could have germs and i dont let him go anywhere near me!
georgia, 10
i have a phobia of spiders and clowns and i just cant help freaking out if i see one!
jake, 17
i have a phobia of hights, dunno why, its been doin my head in for years. i cant even stand on a 10ft wall without feelin horrible, i guess cause the amount of weed ive smoked its got me paranoid about falling off and breakin my neck or snapping a bone
Lou, 13
Heyy im scared of spiders, which is normal, but also im embarrased on wot else im scared of - Ghosts and im getting annoyed about it bcoz i cannot sleep in a week, ive had like 8 hrs sleep!! xx
Sonia, 17
I have a phobia of things that may crash, like a car may run of of fuel and crash or the tv may blow up..lol..bt i always put the volume down now when watching tv and for the cars i just make sure they have enough fuel and work properly then sitting in them
Millie , 12
I have a phobia of like clowns but with big heads but my mum made me shake hands with 1 and now i dont care anymore.
Kay Jay, 16
I had the same phobia as Kimberley, 13... i was claustrophobic and i couldnt even finish my personal survival trial in swimming because i couldnt bare the thought of diving to the bottom of the pool just knowing that all the water was above me... My teacher thought i was being lazy and told me over and over again to do it until it got too much and in the end i climbed out of the pool and sat in the changing rooms sobbing... My mates came to see me and reassured me everyhting was allright... The teacher apologized but i cant stand going swimming now and whenever i go swimming with the boys from my class i feel humiliated in case anyone finds out my phobia but i have amazing friends who are always there to support me. It isn't just pools that make me sick whenever i think of them it is also places such as a cave or in a busy shop full of customers etc. I just wan't to let people know that having a phobia no matter how stupid it seems is just NORMAL!!! and that you should never let it stand in your way!
kimberley, 13
i have a phobia of confined spaces but after 2 years i went into a tunnel and i found it alright.
onelife
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