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8 November 2009
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Friend Chat

Friends helping friends

Friends, eh? They can be flippin hard work. You keep emailing us about them, so we're putting as many of your questions as we can up here >>>

My friend won't move on

A broken heart

Hi Slink! I have a friend who really likes this girl (when I say really i'm putting it VERY LIGHTLY!) anywho he is like obsessed with her and won't stop liking her.

He has asked her out three times and every time she's said no. He has been my friend for ages and Im slightly scared for him 'cause i don't want him to keep getting hurt.

The thing is I have been out with him twice b4 and decided we were better as friends, so i don't know if this is just a friends instinct or i'm being slightly obsessive about it. Help and advice plz!!!

Hana

Slink Anna's mate Nigel says:


A girl looking at a boy sadly

Hi Hana,

Ya know, if I could answer this question in the medium of mime I would be making a 'move on' gesture like a policeman at the scene of an accident.

And I have sympathy! Everyone reading this has been in the same situation of unrequited crushdom. And it's tough. Sometimes school is cool, same classes, same teachers, same routine. But the problem is now and then we can get a bit of tunnel vision. It gets claustrophobic.

We forget there are other things out there. And other people. It sounds like your friend has got sucked into the moment and his massive crush.

But it's up to you to remind him that a new school year will come and with that new classmates or maybe even a glamorous transfer from another school! But remember everybody has to make their own mistakes.

You can be there for your friend but you can't force them to act or feel a certain way. Just be ready to bite your lip a lot until he gets it out of his system.

Next week's question:

I'm going on exchange to France for a year; so I'll be there without family or friends. I'm not sure how to make friends when I get there.

My host family seems nice, but I'm not sure how I can make friends at a new school in a different language when I don't even have a host sister my age.

Alice, 15

Got any thoughts about Alice's issue? Send us them and we might put them up next week. Form's at the top.


Please remember: Our friend chat doesn't come from qualified experts, just our friends, and may not be right for you.

Previous letters (some answered by Louise Rennison and Grace Dent):
My mate won't move on
My mum won't let me see my mates.
Are we growing apart?
Why am I the only one giving presents?
I'm really shy and can't talk to anyone
She can't stop bragging and lying
Torn between groups
My mate embarrasses me
Is the boy I like using me?
I'm so different to my friends
Mum thinks my friend is a bad influence
My friend made me smoke
Can't say goodbye
Does he still like me?
Starting senior school and worried about making friends
Worried about my friends taking drugs
Public speaking makes me go jelloid - help!
I always feel like an outsider
We both liked the same lad, now she's going out with him
Does he LIKE like me, or are we just friends?
I'm lonely at school, how can I make friends?
My best mate fancies me - how do I let him down gently?
Worried that my friend will start smoking
How can I make friends after I move to a new school?
She's copying my friend's coursework
She blamed it all on me
My friend smells. How do I tell her?
Drifting apart in a new school
My friend embarrasses me for no reason
All my mates have boyfs except me
Told everyone my secret
Left out of the group
Paranoid about my best mate
She's being mean behind my back
My friend's always round my house
I've fallen out with my best mate and hanging out with a girl I don't like
Ditched by my bestie
My mate's ex - can I date him?
Can I date and keep my mates?
Should I ditch my boyf 'cos my best mate fancies him?
My friends don't include me
I'm worried about my friend's stealing
My friend keeps ignoring me
We both fancy the same lad
Where should I go for a first date?
My mate doesn't like my crush
My friend's ignoring me
My lad's a player, but I still fancy him
My mum's too overprotective
I'm stuck in the middle between two friends
Do I go the distance?
I want to date my mate
My best friends are making me bunk
In love with my best friend
Teased about my boyfriend's height
This weird girl keeps following me
How do you balance friends with boyfriends?
My friend is always putting me down
My mate thinks it's all about her
I really like my ex but he's asked my best mate
My best mate keeps flirting with my boyfriend
My mates are hanging out with my ex
Should I go out with my mates brother?
My friend's making me choose between her and my boy
My friend treats me really badly
I've got no boy mates
I left my friends for my boyfriend
All my friends have got boyfriends
I'm being bullied
I'm torn between friendship groups
My best friend and I are a year apart
My best friend has diabetes
They hate me snogging my bf
My best mate thinks I've changed
My two best mates are jealous of each other
My group are splitting up

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CONFIDENTIALITY: All emails will be treated in the strictest confidence. We recommend that you do not use your real name when mailing us. We reserve the right to edit submissions. We regret that we cannot answer all the mails we receive.



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