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28 December 2009
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Friend Chat

Friends helping friends

Friends, eh? They can be flippin hard work. You keep emailing us about them, so we're putting as many of your questions as we can up here >>>

The gift of friendship

A girl looking sad

Why do I get my friends birthday presents, christmas presents etc... they dont give me anything?

Bella , 15

Slink Aiss' mate Milly says:


Presents

You know what Bella, this is probably more common than you think. Just the other day I bought my mate a chocolate bar and she still hasn't bought me one back!

It might feel like you're the only one not receiving presents but I'm sure there are plenty of others, like you and me who're in the same boat.

Try not to be too hard on yourself, if anything the fact that you always want to get your friends gifts (even if you aren't getting one back) shows how much you care.

I don't think the reason behind it is that they don't like you - maybe they couldn't find anything quite right? Or maybe they just don't have enough money to afford presents?

You don't say whether or not they give each other presents and leave you out of the equation or whether your friends just don't give presents in general.

If it's the latter - I really wouldn't worry too much about it - maybe they just aren't present people. But if you find that you are constantly being left out, it's worth talking to them.

Ask them why they like to get gifts for other people but not for you? Perhaps you should all agree to not do the present thing altogether?

Or maybe it is really just about the money? If so, explain to your friends that presents don't have to be expensive or fancy. A home-made card costs next-to-nothing but speaks volumes.

Whatever you decide to do in the future regarding presents, remember it's really best to give without expecting anything in return. That way if someone gets you something back it's a bonus.

Your thoughts:


A girl looking happy

Hi Bella,

Me and my friends used to have the same problem. That is until someone seggested we do a kris kringle.

This is where everyone puts there name in a hat. Then you have to pick out a name from the hat and buy a prezzie for that person.

This way everyone gets a prezzie if money is an issue you could say that you arent allowed to spend anything over a fiver for example.

If you wanted to buy someone a birthday prezzie you could seggest that everyone chips in so that its not too expensive. Good luck.

Hope I've helped and happy prezzie buying!! :)

Beki, 16

Next week's question:

I have a problem that's making me feel very sad -I feel an old friend of mine makes me feel bad just cause I've changed since we've left middle school to go to other highschools.

She makes comments about how i dress, the fact i like boys now,ect... She says many things i find hurtful and continually remarks i've changed for the worst but it's not true!

What can i say because she's making me feel bad for what i am simply am :'-( Please help.

Lola


Please remember: Our friend chat doesn't come from qualified experts, just our friends, and may not be right for you.

Previous letters (some answered by Louise Rennison and Grace Dent):
Her boyfriend hates me
She gets all the attention
They hate my music
She's choosing them
My friends can be weird
Teased for being a tomboy.
I'm moving to a new country.
My mate won't move on
My mum won't let me see my mates.
Are we growing apart?
Why am I the only one giving presents?
I'm really shy and can't talk to anyone
She can't stop bragging and lying
Torn between groups
My mate embarrasses me
Is the boy I like using me?
I'm so different to my friends
Mum thinks my friend is a bad influence
My friend made me smoke
Can't say goodbye
Does he still like me?
Starting senior school and worried about making friends
Worried about my friends taking drugs
Public speaking makes me go jelloid - help!
I always feel like an outsider
We both liked the same lad, now she's going out with him
Does he LIKE like me, or are we just friends?
I'm lonely at school, how can I make friends?
My best mate fancies me - how do I let him down gently?
Worried that my friend will start smoking
How can I make friends after I move to a new school?
She's copying my friend's coursework
She blamed it all on me
My friend smells. How do I tell her?
Drifting apart in a new school
My friend embarrasses me for no reason
All my mates have boyfs except me
Told everyone my secret
Left out of the group
Paranoid about my best mate
She's being mean behind my back
My friend's always round my house
I've fallen out with my best mate and hanging out with a girl I don't like
Ditched by my bestie
My mate's ex - can I date him?
Can I date and keep my mates?
Should I ditch my boyf 'cos my best mate fancies him?
My friends don't include me
I'm worried about my friend's stealing
My friend keeps ignoring me
We both fancy the same lad
Where should I go for a first date?
My mate doesn't like my crush
My friend's ignoring me
My lad's a player, but I still fancy him
My mum's too overprotective
I'm stuck in the middle between two friends
Do I go the distance?
I want to date my mate
My best friends are making me bunk
In love with my best friend
Teased about my boyfriend's height
This weird girl keeps following me
How do you balance friends with boyfriends?
My friend is always putting me down
My mate thinks it's all about her
I really like my ex but he's asked my best mate
My best mate keeps flirting with my boyfriend
My mates are hanging out with my ex
Should I go out with my mates brother?
My friend's making me choose between her and my boy
My friend treats me really badly
I've got no boy mates
I left my friends for my boyfriend
All my friends have got boyfriends
I'm being bullied
I'm torn between friendship groups
My best friend and I are a year apart
My best friend has diabetes
They hate me snogging my bf
My best mate thinks I've changed
My two best mates are jealous of each other
My group are splitting up

Friendship stuff
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