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17 December 2009
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Friends helping friends

Friends, eh? They can be flippin hard work. You keep emailing us about them, so we're putting as many of your questions as we can up here >>>

My friend made me smoke

A lit cigarette

My friend has persuaded me to start smoking. She smokes and I've tried it, but I've only done it once.

Now I feel like my life isn't the same. I feel like I'm a bad person just for smoking that one time and I can't achieve anything any more! Help please

Suazan, 14

Slink Trev's mate Laura says:


Yellow teeth

Unfortunately this situation happens a lot but it's important to remember that you should never be pressured or persuaded to do anything you don't want to.

We have mentioned before on Slink that smoking cigarettes can increase your chances of getting cancer, lung and heart disease and is highly addictive, not to mention illegal to buy if you're under 18.

You shouldn't feel like a bad person for what you have done, many people have had the same experience as you, but you should remember that your friend obviously isn't thinking about how silly she's being.

Try focusing on something that makes you feel proud of yourself like sport, art or music and you'll soon start feeing like you can achieve anything!

If you are ever feeling pressured again, mention to your friend the effects that smoking will have on her looks. It can age her skin, make her smell of smoke and not to mention turn her teeth yellow!

Just remember to keep focused on what you care about and what interests you and not to worry about what you have done. You have tried a cigarette, but what will show real strength of character is if you can say no the next time and ignore the pressure from others.

Laura x

More information: Surgery factfile on cigarettes and tobacco

Your thoughts:


A girl stood in front of her friends

To be honest, she isn't a very good friend if she has persuaded you to start smoking. It can cause so many problems in the future, it is simply not worth the risk.

You've got to be straight with your friend and tell her no.

A real friend wouldn't force you into doing anything you didn't want to. If she really values you as a friend then she'll respect your decision - and maybe she'll think twice about smoking as well.

Good luck!

Becca, 16

Next week's question:

My mum doesn't like me hanging around with one of my friends because she thinks she is a bad influence on me, what should I do? Thanks

Sophie, 13


Please remember: Our friend chat doesn't come from qualified experts, just our friends, and may not be right for you.

Previous letters (some answered by Louise Rennison and Grace Dent):
They hate my music
She's choosing them
My friends can be weird
Teased for being a tomboy.
I'm moving to a new country.
My mate won't move on
My mum won't let me see my mates.
Are we growing apart?
Why am I the only one giving presents?
I'm really shy and can't talk to anyone
She can't stop bragging and lying
Torn between groups
My mate embarrasses me
Is the boy I like using me?
I'm so different to my friends
Mum thinks my friend is a bad influence
My friend made me smoke
Can't say goodbye
Does he still like me?
Starting senior school and worried about making friends
Worried about my friends taking drugs
Public speaking makes me go jelloid - help!
I always feel like an outsider
We both liked the same lad, now she's going out with him
Does he LIKE like me, or are we just friends?
I'm lonely at school, how can I make friends?
My best mate fancies me - how do I let him down gently?
Worried that my friend will start smoking
How can I make friends after I move to a new school?
She's copying my friend's coursework
She blamed it all on me
My friend smells. How do I tell her?
Drifting apart in a new school
My friend embarrasses me for no reason
All my mates have boyfs except me
Told everyone my secret
Left out of the group
Paranoid about my best mate
She's being mean behind my back
My friend's always round my house
I've fallen out with my best mate and hanging out with a girl I don't like
Ditched by my bestie
My mate's ex - can I date him?
Can I date and keep my mates?
Should I ditch my boyf 'cos my best mate fancies him?
My friends don't include me
I'm worried about my friend's stealing
My friend keeps ignoring me
We both fancy the same lad
Where should I go for a first date?
My mate doesn't like my crush
My friend's ignoring me
My lad's a player, but I still fancy him
My mum's too overprotective
I'm stuck in the middle between two friends
Do I go the distance?
I want to date my mate
My best friends are making me bunk
In love with my best friend
Teased about my boyfriend's height
This weird girl keeps following me
How do you balance friends with boyfriends?
My friend is always putting me down
My mate thinks it's all about her
I really like my ex but he's asked my best mate
My best mate keeps flirting with my boyfriend
My mates are hanging out with my ex
Should I go out with my mates brother?
My friend's making me choose between her and my boy
My friend treats me really badly
I've got no boy mates
I left my friends for my boyfriend
All my friends have got boyfriends
I'm being bullied
I'm torn between friendship groups
My best friend and I are a year apart
My best friend has diabetes
They hate me snogging my bf
My best mate thinks I've changed
My two best mates are jealous of each other
My group are splitting up

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CONFIDENTIALITY: All emails will be treated in the strictest confidence. We recommend that you do not use your real name when mailing us. We reserve the right to edit submissions. We regret that we cannot answer all the mails we receive.



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