BBC HomeExplore the BBC

9 December 2009
Accessibility help
Text only
Slink - It's real, it's daily, it's yours

BBC Homepage
Switch

Contact Us

Like this page?
Send it to a friend!

 

Friend Chat

Friends helping friends

Friends, eh? They can be flippin hard work. You keep emailing us about them, so we're putting as many of your questions as we can up here >>>

I'm lonely at school, how can I make friends?

A lone girl

I've always been a VERY shy person especially when it comes to talking to people I don't really know.

I'm currently studying for my A levels and I have a small group of friends, but...

1. They're not in every day of the week so I'm usually on my own at break and lunchtime. And,

2. Next year all the friend I know are moving to different sixth forms. I know a few people at my sixth form but not really well enough to hang around with them because my convos are usually limited to "Hi. how are you?, what you up to?" then an awkward silence.

I'm really worried that I'm not going to have any friends because I'm too shy and insecure.

What can I do to gain some confidence and make some friends that I can hang out with?

PLEASE help. Thanks :)

Shannon, 17

Slink Anna's mate, who's also called Anna, says:


Two girls chatting in a science class

Hi Shannon,

I think the fact that you're thinking so far ahead about what you're going to do next year is an awesome idea. This way you'll be able to put all your worries to one side as soon as possible, as the last thing you need during your A-Levels is extra stress!

It makes me très sad that you're depressed about this. You're obviously completely lovely and you have a group of friends who totally know this already, so just remember that.

BTW making new friends is a tough thing to do, even for the gobbiest of people (I should know!). Just going up to a random and striking up a conversation can make anyone turn to jelly, so try not to be so hard on yourself.

If you're feeling too shy to start up a conversation with new people, why not recruit your current mates to help you out? I'm sure they wouldn't want you to be left on your lonesome once they're gone.

Please don't stress about your shyness, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being shy, unless it's stopping you doing the things you want to do. Being shy is also something that can ease with time.

It's often easier said than done but sometimes you have to force yourself to take the plunge in situations where speaking to new peeps is involved. It's never as bad as you think. Worst possible scenario is that the people you talk to are unfriendly back, in which case it's blatantly their loss and your gain as who wants to hang out with horrid people?!

Good luck in your A-Levels, I reckon you're going to have a fabulous final year.

Love

Anna xx

Your thoughts:


A chess piece.  From the chess club, that you could join.

Making new friends is hard, I've had the same problem once before.

I joined a couple of school clubs, it meant that I could make lots of friends and learn something new. And I did! I've got lots of new friends now so I'm never alone in class and they're all really great. Just be friendly and be yourself!

Good luck xx

Clare, 15

Next week's question:

Recently, me and my guy friend have become very close, and I'd say he was my best friend.

But I love the attention he gives me and I think I've fallen for him.. Quite often, I get signs that he likes me, like he hugs me and stuff, and would like to know who I like..

He used to like me and mentioned that not long ago..

But I'm not sure because he always tells me about other people he likes and he's open to me about his feelings a lot just like a normal friend..

Does he like me or have I fallen in love with our friendship?

Anonymous, 16


Please remember: Our friend chat doesn't come from qualified experts, just our friends, and may not be right for you.

Previous letters (some answered by Louise Rennison and Grace Dent):
She's choosing them
My friends can be weird
Teased for being a tomboy.
I'm moving to a new country.
My mate won't move on
My mum won't let me see my mates.
Are we growing apart?
Why am I the only one giving presents?
I'm really shy and can't talk to anyone
She can't stop bragging and lying
Torn between groups
My mate embarrasses me
Is the boy I like using me?
I'm so different to my friends
Mum thinks my friend is a bad influence
My friend made me smoke
Can't say goodbye
Does he still like me?
Starting senior school and worried about making friends
Worried about my friends taking drugs
Public speaking makes me go jelloid - help!
I always feel like an outsider
We both liked the same lad, now she's going out with him
Does he LIKE like me, or are we just friends?
I'm lonely at school, how can I make friends?
My best mate fancies me - how do I let him down gently?
Worried that my friend will start smoking
How can I make friends after I move to a new school?
She's copying my friend's coursework
She blamed it all on me
My friend smells. How do I tell her?
Drifting apart in a new school
My friend embarrasses me for no reason
All my mates have boyfs except me
Told everyone my secret
Left out of the group
Paranoid about my best mate
She's being mean behind my back
My friend's always round my house
I've fallen out with my best mate and hanging out with a girl I don't like
Ditched by my bestie
My mate's ex - can I date him?
Can I date and keep my mates?
Should I ditch my boyf 'cos my best mate fancies him?
My friends don't include me
I'm worried about my friend's stealing
My friend keeps ignoring me
We both fancy the same lad
Where should I go for a first date?
My mate doesn't like my crush
My friend's ignoring me
My lad's a player, but I still fancy him
My mum's too overprotective
I'm stuck in the middle between two friends
Do I go the distance?
I want to date my mate
My best friends are making me bunk
In love with my best friend
Teased about my boyfriend's height
This weird girl keeps following me
How do you balance friends with boyfriends?
My friend is always putting me down
My mate thinks it's all about her
I really like my ex but he's asked my best mate
My best mate keeps flirting with my boyfriend
My mates are hanging out with my ex
Should I go out with my mates brother?
My friend's making me choose between her and my boy
My friend treats me really badly
I've got no boy mates
I left my friends for my boyfriend
All my friends have got boyfriends
I'm being bullied
I'm torn between friendship groups
My best friend and I are a year apart
My best friend has diabetes
They hate me snogging my bf
My best mate thinks I've changed
My two best mates are jealous of each other
My group are splitting up

Friendship stuff
How to be a good friend
Show your bezzie how special they are with a spangly certificate

Ask Slink a question

CONFIDENTIALITY: All emails will be treated in the strictest confidence. We recommend that you do not use your real name when mailing us. We reserve the right to edit submissions. We regret that we cannot answer all the mails we receive.



About the BBC | Help | Terms of Use | Privacy & Cookies Policy