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8 December 2009
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Friends helping friends

Friends, eh? They can be flippin hard work. You keep emailing us about them, so we're putting as many of your questions as we can up here >>>

Left out of the group

A girl on her own

I hang out in a group of 6 girls, but the group is split.

There are 2 girls who are really close with each other and the other 3 spend a lot of time with each other, leaving me on my own.

This is not the first time I have felt left out. Last time I talked to them and told them what I was feeling, but it didn't really make a difference.

What shall I do?

Chloe, 14

Slink Trev's mate Claire says:


Thumbs up

Groups of girl mates are no simple thing... there are always different allegiances and politics.

You never quite know where you are until you need a friend, and then you realise that the ones who stick by you are the ones you should be sticking with too.

I'm sure the other girls in the group are secretly worried about being left behind as well, so they cling together, and end up leaving you out. They might not even know how harsh they're being.

But if they are blatantly and deliberately leaving you out, I wouldn't stand for it. Tell them again that you're getting left behind and that it's unkind.

If they still aren't taking any notice, it's time for a change of attitude. Be confident, put yourself in centre stage, and think positively - your mates will be more drawn to you if you've got a good vibe going on.

If things don't change after that then they're obviously shallow and it's their loss. So pick yourself up and get to know more people in your class - soon you'll have loads of mates that you couldn't get rid of even if you wanted to!

Claire x

Your thoughts:


A shopping bag

It's understandable that you feel isolated from your group Chloe. Talk to them again and try arranging days out with all of them, for example to the cinemas or shopping.

Also, you could try meeting new people and introducing them to your friends, so then this way you won't feel left out because you'll have somebody to hang out with.

Chat to new people or join clubs that you're interested in so then you can meet people with the same interests as you.

It's important not to let your group feel left out though, so make sure you still see them often.

Leanne, 14

Next week's question:

I told my close friend something that I didn't want anyone to know and I made her swear not to tell anyone.

I heard back that she told 5 of my other friends.

What should I do?

Mary, 16


Please remember: Our friend chat doesn't come from qualified experts, just our friends, and may not be right for you.

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