BBC HomeExplore the BBC

8 December 2009
Accessibility help
Text only
Slink - It's real, it's daily, it's yours

BBC Homepage
Switch

Contact Us

Like this page?
Send it to a friend!

 

Friend Chat

Friends helping friends

Friends, eh? They can be flippin hard work. You keep emailing us about them, so we're putting as many of your questions as we can up here >>>

Paranoid about my best mate

A couple about to snog

My best friend has been going out with a guy for about 10 months now and claims she loves him.

At the start we all used to hang out, but now it is just them two. I only ever see her at the weekend now - I feel so left out.

I have spoken to her about it but she doesn't do anything to help, also if I ever do get us together they are stuck like glue as they giggle and stare at each other.

It makes me paranoid, what can I do?

Clare, 14

Slink Aiss' mate Felicia says:


Two girls hugging

Hi Clare,

Ah, the third wheel syndrome. It's perfectly understandable to feel left out. You probably went from being inseparable bosom buddies, to having to share her attention with her new fella.

You're allowed to find it weird as you're having to adjust to new dynamics. That said, if your friend is still gooey-eyed over this guy after ten months, she must be happy.

You need to give her some space and realise that you're still best friends no matter what. Take up some new interests, concentrate on school work, or other friends.

What you shouldn't do is feel paranoid - they're not being happy to make you feel miserable.

Keep occupied and try and support her, that's what best friends are for.

Felicia x

Your thoughts:


Robert Pattinson

Aww, that sucks, but you know what us girls are like when we get a new boyfriend - we think he's perfect and gorg and want to spend all our time with him.

Do you have any other friends to hang around with? Consider this a good chance to meet new people =)

I know that's maybe not what you want to hear, but guess what - our lovey dovey state doesn't last forever.

One day she'll realize how much she misses you and when that day comes you can gently remind her that even if her new boyf is a Robert Pattinson look-a-like you're still her BFF and it's not cool to leave you out ! =)

Nicole, 14

Next week's question:

I hang out in a group of 6 girls, but the group is split.

There are 2 girls who are really close with each other and the other 3 spend a lot of time with each other, leaving me on my own.

This is not the first time I have felt left out. Last time I talked to them and told them what I was feeling, but it didn't really make a difference.

What shall I do?

Chloe, 14


Please remember: Our friend chat doesn't come from qualified experts, just our friends, and may not be right for you.

Previous letters (some answered by Louise Rennison and Grace Dent):
She's choosing them
My friends can be weird
Teased for being a tomboy.
I'm moving to a new country.
My mate won't move on
My mum won't let me see my mates.
Are we growing apart?
Why am I the only one giving presents?
I'm really shy and can't talk to anyone
She can't stop bragging and lying
Torn between groups
My mate embarrasses me
Is the boy I like using me?
I'm so different to my friends
Mum thinks my friend is a bad influence
My friend made me smoke
Can't say goodbye
Does he still like me?
Starting senior school and worried about making friends
Worried about my friends taking drugs
Public speaking makes me go jelloid - help!
I always feel like an outsider
We both liked the same lad, now she's going out with him
Does he LIKE like me, or are we just friends?
I'm lonely at school, how can I make friends?
My best mate fancies me - how do I let him down gently?
Worried that my friend will start smoking
How can I make friends after I move to a new school?
She's copying my friend's coursework
She blamed it all on me
My friend smells. How do I tell her?
Drifting apart in a new school
My friend embarrasses me for no reason
All my mates have boyfs except me
Told everyone my secret
Left out of the group
Paranoid about my best mate
She's being mean behind my back
My friend's always round my house
I've fallen out with my best mate and hanging out with a girl I don't like
Ditched by my bestie
My mate's ex - can I date him?
Can I date and keep my mates?
Should I ditch my boyf 'cos my best mate fancies him?
My friends don't include me
I'm worried about my friend's stealing
My friend keeps ignoring me
We both fancy the same lad
Where should I go for a first date?
My mate doesn't like my crush
My friend's ignoring me
My lad's a player, but I still fancy him
My mum's too overprotective
I'm stuck in the middle between two friends
Do I go the distance?
I want to date my mate
My best friends are making me bunk
In love with my best friend
Teased about my boyfriend's height
This weird girl keeps following me
How do you balance friends with boyfriends?
My friend is always putting me down
My mate thinks it's all about her
I really like my ex but he's asked my best mate
My best mate keeps flirting with my boyfriend
My mates are hanging out with my ex
Should I go out with my mates brother?
My friend's making me choose between her and my boy
My friend treats me really badly
I've got no boy mates
I left my friends for my boyfriend
All my friends have got boyfriends
I'm being bullied
I'm torn between friendship groups
My best friend and I are a year apart
My best friend has diabetes
They hate me snogging my bf
My best mate thinks I've changed
My two best mates are jealous of each other
My group are splitting up

Friendship stuff
How to be a good friend
Show your bezzie how special they are with a spangly certificate

Ask Slink a question

CONFIDENTIALITY: All emails will be treated in the strictest confidence. We recommend that you do not use your real name when mailing us. We reserve the right to edit submissions. We regret that we cannot answer all the mails we receive.



About the BBC | Help | Terms of Use | Privacy & Cookies Policy