BBC HomeExplore the BBC

20 December 2009
Accessibility help
Text only
Slink - It's real, it's daily, it's yours

BBC Homepage
Switch

Contact Us

Like this page?
Send it to a friend!

 

Friend Chat

Friends helping friends

Friends, eh? They can be flippin hard work. You keep emailing us about them, so we're putting as many of your questions as we can up here >>>

We both fancy the same lad

Confusion - which direction to go in??

Me and a really good friend like the same boy. Both of us really like him and we've both said we'll back off so the other can have hime. But to be honest how can this work because we are going to know that the other one likes him! what can i do??? plese help slink!!!

Mel, 16

Slink Trev says:


A cake, that is a lot like a boy

OK, it's the end of dinner. Your fingers are creeping towards that last bit of cake, when oh no - disaster! Your best mate has reached for it at the same time.
"Oh, you eat it, don't worry."
"Au contraire, mon ami! You have it."
"No, please, I insist."

Eventually, one of you will eat the cake and the other one will pretend not to care. About 20 minutes later, the cake-cravings will be gone, and everything will be fine.

But imagine if your friend took the cake and didn't eat it straight away, but waved it under your nose every day, taunting you? You'd go insane with longing, dreaming about what it would be like if you had the cake all to yourself. Oh the fun you two could have - going to the cinema, trying on different shades of icing, avoiding hungry pets...

This is exactly what it is like with crushes. If you and your mate both like the same lad, and you both say you're prepared to back off for the other one, then for the sake of your friendship you must BOTH back off, and NEITHER of you go out with him.

I know it sounds drastic, but it is only a boy, and your friendship is more important, right? Another crush is never far away, and, you never know, he might just take the cake.

(So to speak.)

Two friends looking happy

Please remember: Our friend chat doesn't come from qualified experts, just our friends, and may not be right for you.

Previous letters (some answered by Louise Rennison and Grace Dent):
She gets all the attention
They hate my music
She's choosing them
My friends can be weird
Teased for being a tomboy.
I'm moving to a new country.
My mate won't move on
My mum won't let me see my mates.
Are we growing apart?
Why am I the only one giving presents?
I'm really shy and can't talk to anyone
She can't stop bragging and lying
Torn between groups
My mate embarrasses me
Is the boy I like using me?
I'm so different to my friends
Mum thinks my friend is a bad influence
My friend made me smoke
Can't say goodbye
Does he still like me?
Starting senior school and worried about making friends
Worried about my friends taking drugs
Public speaking makes me go jelloid - help!
I always feel like an outsider
We both liked the same lad, now she's going out with him
Does he LIKE like me, or are we just friends?
I'm lonely at school, how can I make friends?
My best mate fancies me - how do I let him down gently?
Worried that my friend will start smoking
How can I make friends after I move to a new school?
She's copying my friend's coursework
She blamed it all on me
My friend smells. How do I tell her?
Drifting apart in a new school
My friend embarrasses me for no reason
All my mates have boyfs except me
Told everyone my secret
Left out of the group
Paranoid about my best mate
She's being mean behind my back
My friend's always round my house
I've fallen out with my best mate and hanging out with a girl I don't like
Ditched by my bestie
My mate's ex - can I date him?
Can I date and keep my mates?
Should I ditch my boyf 'cos my best mate fancies him?
My friends don't include me
I'm worried about my friend's stealing
My friend keeps ignoring me
We both fancy the same lad
Where should I go for a first date?
My mate doesn't like my crush
My friend's ignoring me
My lad's a player, but I still fancy him
My mum's too overprotective
I'm stuck in the middle between two friends
Do I go the distance?
I want to date my mate
My best friends are making me bunk
In love with my best friend
Teased about my boyfriend's height
This weird girl keeps following me
How do you balance friends with boyfriends?
My friend is always putting me down
My mate thinks it's all about her
I really like my ex but he's asked my best mate
My best mate keeps flirting with my boyfriend
My mates are hanging out with my ex
Should I go out with my mates brother?
My friend's making me choose between her and my boy
My friend treats me really badly
I've got no boy mates
I left my friends for my boyfriend
All my friends have got boyfriends
I'm being bullied
I'm torn between friendship groups
My best friend and I are a year apart
My best friend has diabetes
They hate me snogging my bf
My best mate thinks I've changed
My two best mates are jealous of each other
My group are splitting up

Friendship stuff
How to be a good friend
Show your bezzie how special they are with a spangly certificate

Ask Slink a question

CONFIDENTIALITY: All emails will be treated in the strictest confidence. We recommend that you do not use your real name when mailing us. We reserve the right to edit submissions. We regret that we cannot answer all the mails we receive.



About the BBC | Help | Terms of Use | Privacy & Cookies Policy