Anya is 15 years old and, when she was 13, she was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. In her story, she explains how Bipolar has effected her...
Anya's Story
As a young child I was always very daring and creative, which was a bit weird considering both my parents were accountants! At 13, I began experiencing my first 'mood swings'. My mum put it down to hormones and me starting my period. However, as I got older the condition worsened.
I remember when I had just turned 15, my family and I went to my brother Jack's awards ceremony. I was in a brilliant mood: flirting with his friends and chatting to his teachers. But by the time he was called up for his certificate, big, fat tears were rolling down my cheeks. My mum was confused and I was starting to get some funny looks from the people around me. She asked me what the matter was and I told her that I had absolutely no idea.
Not myself
That sort of thing continued for a while. It was awful. At times I'd be sad, paranoid and angry for no reason whatsoever. I'd isolate myself and become irritable and indifferent. I stopped going to my drama club and declined invites to my best friends' birthday parties, preferring to stay in my room and sleep.
“Big, fat tears were rolling down my cheeks”
Then I'd experience the opposite: a delirious increase in energy. I'd lose my attention span and become easily distracted. Whereas I'm usually quite a shy person, I'd become extrovert and laugh at things I'd never found funny before.
But, before long, it would be back to the "blues" and I'd be feeling down again. My fluctuating moods scared me, not to mention my friends and family.
Answers
My mum saw these severe changes in me and booked an appointment with my doctor straight away. After a series of appointments (including blood counts, serology tests and chats with a clinical psychologist) it was confirmed. I had Bipolar I Disorder, a condition which effects your moods, making you swing from one extreme to the other.
Studying my family tree, it soon became clear that I wasn't the only one with a disorder. Both of my aunties suffered from eating-disorders, my grandmother had postpartum psychosis and my great grandfather had displayed signs of schizophrenia. More than two thirds of people with a bipolar disorder have at least one relative with major or minor depression.
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Not the only one
I was devastated. I felt like an absolute freak. I only confided in my best friend, Helen, as I was worried what everybody else would say. Her immediate reply was, "Oh, like Winston Churchill?" I was astounded and quickly scanned the net for answers. Had Winston Churchill really had Bipolar??
To my surprise I found out that not only Winston Churchill, but many other great people, including Lord Byron, Stephen Fry, Isaac Newton, Florence Nightingale and even Vincent Van Gogh were all said to have battled with having some form of Bipolar at one point in their lives. These people certainly aren't known for being freaks, rather: great authors, artists, politicians and musicians. In other words, they were all creative geniuses.
Living with Bipolar
Finding this out gave me a new burst of confidence and now I'm quite upfront about my disorder. I think it's down to people like me not to hide the fact I have Bipolar, but to talk about my experiences, as I don't think a lot of people really understand the disorder.
I do get some funny looks and rude comments from time to time but, on the whole, I find most people are very supportive.
“Life is beginning to look up”
I try and raise awareness about the illness as much as possible. It was the subject of my English Aural exam at the end of Yr 9 and my friends and I have done numerous assemblies on the topic, plus I put on a Christmas show at school and raised money for Bipolar research.
I try and actively involve myself in as many group activities as possible: drama, netball and hockey... to name but a few! It's hard, but I'd encourage anyone with Bipolar Disorder not to bottle up their fears like I did at first - you'll be surprised at much support is out there and how quickly life can begin to really look up. I know mine definitely is.
SLINK SAYS: For most girls, emotional mood swings are often due to their bodies going through puberty, but sometimes it can be more than that. If you are concerned that your mood swings are really extreme, make sure you see your GP pronto (get advice about this here).
For more information on Bipolar Disorder, check out BBC Health and for help and support with coping with having Biolar, visit: Rethink
Pictures posed by models.
Your comments
*******Mellissa*******, 15
Anya I Think That you are really brave doing all that when you had so many fears I wish I was as brave as you good look in later life Mellissa..x
Jessica, 16
i no how u feel hun my dad has bipolar and i've had to learn to live with him its hard and i wish u all da best.
Alice, 16
Wow, you go girlfriend ! Accepting that you have bipolar must've be truly hard, but you faced it head on. You sound like a great person, and I'll bet you'll be a creative genius in no time ! xxxx
Annie, 13
Hiee Well Done u are a really cool person for doing that and stopping th edisorder from taking over ure lihe well done xxxxxx
Jaz, 13
At 12 I was diagnosed with severe depression. I cant relate with your high times, but I totally understand the low ones. People generally dont understand mental illnesses. It sucks, but there are lots of people out there like you and me!!
Hannah, 17
It must be terrible to have a disorder that can make you feel so down. When you didn't know what it was i bet your mind was so confused!Hopefully knowing what's what has put your mind at some rest though and i think it's great what you're doing for bipolar research :)People should look up to you.x
Beth, 15
I'm bipolar too. It's so hard to maintain concentration, especially during exams and in class. The slightest thing could set me off on a tangent and it's frustrating feeling like I have to hide my feelings. This has affected me for years, but nobody could say why until recently. I think you're brave :)
Sarah, 15
I'm soo happy it worked out for you.. You sound like an amazing person and this is a good inspiration with people who have Bipolar.. x
Zoe, 16
I'm so glad you're getting the help and support you need to live a better life, me and a close friend have mental health problems, and we've both been hospitalised because of them which is awful, I'm glad it hasn't happened to you!
Sarah..x, 15
I also have Bipolar. My family also thought my mood swings were due to puberty and my periods but they soon became much worse so my mum took me to the doctors. They soon dignosed me with Bipolar. I have been able to keep it under control and my friends and family really support me. :) x
becky, 15,
wow anya your story was amazing!! you should be so proud of your self and i never knew the winston churchill had bipolar it is a lovely thing that you did when you rasied funds for your school.. well done and good luck for the future xxx :)
Nikki, 18
My mum has Bipolar disorder and I have researched about it alot so I understand it, it can be hard when people give my mum funny looks n wonder why she is acting so weird when she gets the mood swings. Its amazing how little awareness there is on Bipolar disorder too so when you tell people its because of that they don't understand. Its good to know you are confident and upfront about it though, thats the best attitude I think. :D x
