How do you know when you're coming on too strong?
Imagine you're in a pet shop, choosing a kitten.
(Ponder that thought for a bit. It's fun...)
One kitten bowls straight up to you and starts nuzzling your leg and purring. It's so affectionate and playful and cute.
Behind is another kitten. It sits staring nervously at you with its kitten cat eyes (like puppy dog eyes but on a cat). It's so timid and vulnerable and cute.
Which one do you choose?
There's no right answer. Different people go for different things. That's why it's tricky to know how to act around lads.
Girls are a lot like kittens: pretty and sweet, but difficult to talk to.
Boys like it when girls throw themselves at them, but it can be more fulfilling to pull a girl who seemed like a challenge.
So there's a delicate balancing act between playing it cool and chasing a boy through the streets shouting: "I love you, sexy bum!" (I use this example because it happened to me last week).
The good news is that if a lad really likes you, you'd have to do something pretty drastic to put him off, like punch a kitten. So by all means flirt outrageously.
The bad news is that if you offer yourself on a plate, a boy might just take advantage of your easiness, even if he doesn't like you much.
But at least coming on strong normally settles matters, one way or another. If you make a move on a boy and he runs away, chances are he wasn't interested and you can move on (providing he doesn't report you to the police).
Just remember that some people will pick the shy kitten, leaving the leg-nuzzling outgoing kitten on the pet shop shelf.
I'm sure that won't happen to you though.
Please remember: Kev is not an expert, he is just a boy and sometimes quite a silly boy. The main thing to remember when it comes to lads and relationships is to expect respect as the absolute minimum. Find out more about a Women's Aid campaign of the same name.
Previous letters:
