Do boys act shallow 'cos they are, or is it mostly to impress their mates?
When boys go on about big explosions and trainers with big price tags it's easy to think they are shallower than the shallow end of a children's paddling pool.
For some reason, superficiality and indifference can feature quite highly in boy chat. Other boys like it, it makes them feel comfortable. It's just easier, I suppose. And safer. The alternative - relentlessly quoting Sartre in the playground and wearing espadrilles - would just give other boys an excuse to take the mick.
But it's silly. All humans (a group that includes boys) have a vast range of emotions, fears and desires, whether they like it or not. So it's impossible for a person to be shallow, in the same way that - for instance - a pigeon is shallow.
A pigeon could sit through a documentary about the decline of the walrus population without getting even slightly upset. It would happily just fly off during the most heart-wrenching scene and do a poo in mid-air, without thinking twice about it. They're a cold and callous bunch, pigeons. That's why it's impossible to connect with them on any meaningful level (and believe me, I've tried).
But boys aren't pigeons (apart from that boy-pigeon I read about, that lives in the Amazon). Boys are equipped with all the emotions of girls, they just sometimes feel the need to suppress them and it's up to people like you to show them how pointless that kind of behaviour is.
Slink says: We know loads of boys who are totally deep and meaningful and we love them for it. Sure, sometimes rubbish stereotypes make boys feel like they need to shout "Wow look at that tank!" when really they're admiring the light playing on the cowslips just in front of the tank, but we kind of get that and as Sartre said, "Being is. Being is in-itself. Being is what it is."
Please remember: Kev is not an expert, he is just a boy and sometimes quite a silly boy. The main thing to remember when it comes to lads and relationships is to expect respect as the absolute minimum. Find out more about a Women's Aid campaign of the same name.
Previous letters: