Why are boys so rubbish on the phone?
One question: what's in it for us?
If you can convince us we have something to gain by nattering rubbish for an hour, we'll be less rubbish at doing it. We just don't see the point. Essentially you're sitting completely still, on your own. You're not even looking at anything, just staring blankly into space. Brilliant.
We think talking to people is better when you can see them. If all conversations were conducted on the phone the world would be mental. People could just pretend to be other people whenever they liked. I could phone Dr Dre and say I was Lil Chris and I wanted to throw a lettuce at his head. Then Dre would give Lil Chris bare slaps. Actually, that would be quite good. I take that bit back. But apart from this specific scenario, phone chats for boys are drawn-out and awkward.
Even if there's stuff we'd like to talk about, we're no good at expressing it. Any boy could list 20 things he's better at than talking. On the phone that's all you can do - all the other strings to our bow are disabled, so we become less of a person. Plus, how often do you want to talk to us? If it's every day, then you can hardly blame us for running out of things to say. Don't take it personal, but we don't really care that your brother is being an idiot or you had spaghetti bolognese for tea. Phones: wastes of time.
Now, anyone got Dr Dre's number?
Please remember: Kev is not an expert, he is just a boy and sometimes quite a silly boy. The main thing to remember when it comes to lads and relationships is to expect respect as the absolute minimum. Find out more about a Women's Aid campaign of the same name.
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