Is it true that boys are mean to girls they fancy?
Hell yeah. If I like a girl the first thing I do is tell her she's ugly and nick her travelcard. If I think she's really hot, I might steal her crisps.
That's a lie, obviously. No decent boy would dare do those things to a girl. But being mean is a genuine boy tactic. It all comes from the need to be cool. Even when we're doing something as wet as falling hopelessly in love, we must look like we are rock. We'll do everything possible to avoid looking like a wimp, even if it means acting all aloof and ignoring the girl in question. The reason is simple: some girls seem to prefer mean and moody boys to wet and wimpy ones. So it's your fault really.
I'm not saying it's right, but it's also about self-protection. If she ends up rejecting us, we can refer back to the mean and moody thing as evidence we were never interested. But it's also because (violin interlude) some boys aren't used to showing affection, even to people they like. We're more likely to flick crisp dust at our dearest chums than compliment them. Even our parents are frequently dissed. Taking the mick out of things is our preferred way of communicating.
That doesn't mean every boy who's horrible to you actually secretly fancies you. But if the boy is generally a nice lad who is just being mean to you for some unknown reason, there's a good chance he fancies you.
Please remember: Kev is not an expert, he is just a boy and sometimes quite a silly boy. The main thing to remember when it comes to lads and relationships is to expect respect as the absolute minimum. Find out more about a Women's Aid campaign of the same name.
Previous letters:
