Do guys like it when girls fart?
This is a good question and I think to a certain extent, erm, give me a sec... bwahahahahahahahaha!
Best. Question. Ever.
Do guys like it when girls fart? Or, put another way, do boys want to smell your poo? That's what you're asking me. Your poop fumes in my nostrils. No thanks, I don't want that.
BUT...
If the next girl I spoke to were to unleash a massive trump mid-conversation, then that would be amusing. So I suppose I would like it. Hmm...
I guess it depends what you're trying to achieve. If you want to make boys laugh, grunt away. While you're at it, try to...
a) Cock your leg and pull a silly expression.
b) Aim the fart into the face of a person or animal.
Just bear in mind that any boy who sees you do this will never snog you, ever, ever, ever. And he might actually be sick. So if you're anywhere near the flirty, does he like me/does he not stage, keep schtum. And definitely don't fart:
a) On a date.
b) During a snog.
Plus, frankly, any girl who farts to impress boys should possibly start re-evaluating her goals and priorities in life.
It's scientifically proven that if you hold in six farts in a row, the gas can build up in your bum and kill you*. So in a long-term relationship, you might have to let one rip at some point. Many boys will be utterly repulsed at this and throw you out of their house and never speak to you again. Other boys won't really mind and will just find it funny. But don't take this as a green light to grunt at your leisure. And try to give some kind of warning.
Boys, on the other hand, can fart whenever we want. Sorry.
*That's not true, I don't actually know why I said it.
Please remember: Kev is not an expert, he is just a boy. And sometimes quite a stupid boy. You have been warned.
Please remember: Kev is not an expert, he is just a boy and sometimes quite a silly boy. The main thing to remember when it comes to lads and relationships is to expect respect as the absolute minimum. Find out more about a Women's Aid campaign of the same name.
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