What is it with boys and farting? Don't they know how gross it is?
Okay, let's get one thing straight. Farting is hilarious.
Farting is the joke that everyone gets. Probably even Cheryl Tweedy has laughed at a fart: whether it was someone else's, or one of her own.
There are two reasons poo gas is so amusing. 1) It sounds funny and 2) It comes out of your bum. That's a winning combination in anyone's book.
The reason boys fart so flamboyantly is simple: we'll do anything to get a laugh. Everyone loves funny people - and this is why boys often act like idiots. Nothing beats the euphoric feeling of sending a room of your mates into hysterics.
A well-timed trump is an easy way of securing such adulation. For a fleeting moment we feel like Pete Doherty (and smell almost as bad). Even a hideously stinky grunt, which might make you unpopular, will win you respect in the long-run.
Naturally, if a girl did this no boy would ever speak at her again and rightly so. Public farting is a disgusting thing for a girl to do.
It's strictly lads' business, so you're best off keeping your nose out (literally, if you're sensible). Boys fart for the benefit of other men and if girls happen to get caught in the crossfire, that's just unfortunate.
As for farting being gross, this is undeniable. At some point on the road to adulthood, a lad will realise girls are turned off by raucous displays of breaking wind.
So we'll restrict our guffing to close friends or private moments, like if we met the Queen.
Please remember: Kev is not an expert, he is just a boy and sometimes quite a silly boy. The main thing to remember when it comes to lads and relationships is to expect respect as the absolute minimum. Find out more about a Women's Aid campaign of the same name.
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