Do boys talk to each other about people they fancy, like girls do?
Of course we do. We fancy Jessica Simpson, Kelly Brook, Cheryl Tweedy and that other one. We've got posters of them on our wall and everything. Even our Mum knows.
We often talk to our mates about how much we fancy them. But if the opportunity to speak to them ever actually cropped up we'd be scared out of our tiny minds. But it won't, so it doesn't matter.
As for real girls, ones who actually know we exist and aren't married to footballers. that's a bit more complicated. We do talk to our homeboys about these chicks but the chat is mainly about body parts, rather than potential relationships. It rarely gets serious, because boys don't like being serious. We like being really, really silly.
Plus, it's dangerous to tell people who you fancy in boy world. People might laugh at you or, worse still, spread your secret and leave your romantic dreams in tatters. No, if we fancy someone (and we all do), we keep our cards close to our chest, then launch a stealth-like operation to win your affections. When that fails, we either silently harbour our crush forever like Seth Cohen (before he stopped harbouring his crush) or we do something about it (like Seth Cohen when he did something about it).
Sadly, that doesn't mean an emotional table-top confession. It means confiding in our most trusted, geekiest friend and sending him on a mission entitled: 'My mate fancies you'.
Then we cower under a desk with beads of sweat running down our forehead, and wait.
Please remember: Kev is not an expert, he is just a boy and sometimes quite a silly boy. The main thing to remember when it comes to lads and relationships is to expect respect as the absolute minimum. Find out more about a Women's Aid campaign of the same name.
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