To be called ‘Transsexual’ sounds quite seedy, the word itself is ugly and relates to a gender disorder, a deformity from birth. It suggests promiscuous carnality and that couldn't be further from the truth.
I am now 57 and five years ago ran away from 27 years of marriage to a woman whom I dearly loved and had sired two wonderful sons with. It was as if I was a pressure cooker that had not been used in denial of its contents. In latter years the heat had returned causing the valve to finally blow leaving the relationship in ruins. My wife sent me the divorce papers stating ‘unreasonable behaviour’, my sons had changed their names and my heart was broken, it seems, by my own doing.
|Jaqui Lazelle in the BBC Suffolk Studio|
I was feeling totally withdrawn but, two years ago, found the strength to visit my GP and spill my woes. After taking me very seriously and admitting that he was out of his depths, he referred me to a psychiatric consultant who in turn referred me to other specialists. The results of all this is that, I am now positively living my life fully as a transsexual woman. So far I've made four visits to Charing Cross Hospital and there will be many more which will lead to full transition, hopefully, within the next two years. I changed my name by Statutory Declaration last year and now have had my driving licence changed and hold the form to change my passport.
|"My wife sent me the divorce papers stating ‘unreasonable behaviour’, my sons had changed their names and my heart was broken."|
This may sound selfish but I need my new life, the consequences of not pursuing it would be unbearable. I assure you, I miss my family sorely. My boys are both in their late twenties and have their own lives to lead in which they are doing so well without a father.
Although I do receive hostility and insensitive remarks from all walks of life in this so called politically correct land, I am now unafraid to go out in public and have started to write about my life and transition. In the first 15 chapters of which I have given samples to others who seem to agree, there is heartache, revelation and would you believe, humour.
Interviews and updates
Jaqui will be appearing on BBC Radio Suffolk's mid-morning show between October 31st and November 4th. You will be able to hear her interview and read extracts from her book here very soon.