Fun stuff >> The best excuses ever!

David 'Vis a Vis' Brent

Your late again for work and the boss is on the warpath. Try some of these excuses to make him go away wishing he'd never even asked... The Best Excuses Ever

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Your best excuses:
Newest excuses appear at the top of this thread...

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DanDude
Sorry i'm late but i was attacked by a flock of birds who mistook dandruff for breadcrumbs

Judy Summers
I used to teach and this excuse was given by a student for non submission of an assignment. "I was so proud of the work I had done that I took it round to my grandma's for her to look at. I left it with her and went back to collect it the following day. She had, unfortunately, died during the night and rigour mortis had set in so I was unable to get my work out of her hand"!!!

preet
i unno- i had this irritation all night...sorry....i think..please dont stare......i feel......i unno-......funny

preet
my dog-o my god so wut i didnt finish it......holy.........

preet
what-huh?(make a stupid face)

Johnney
My grandmom died. Agian. They brought her back through CPR thankgod. I fell down the steps. I have a huge bruise on my ass wanna see? I couldn't afford supplies (Bus fare) yesterday, I haven't eaten in a week. Is that a bologni sandwhich in your desk I smell?

Stephen
Uh, to be honest with you, I didnt do it. Can you be nice and let me bring it tomorrow? :D(!brownie points?)

Someone Smart
I had a hole in my shoe so I used it to plug the hole. do you still want it?

gurly_gurl_25852
when your teacher asks you if you have your homework finished, you say, "homework? i thought you said housework! i stayed up all last night and cleaned the house!" then, just for effect, put some dark eyeshadow underneath your eyes and it'll look like you're tired! =)

Jahleel Harris
i was thinking about if i wanted to quit or not.

Aaron
The yellow sign painted on the road outside the school said 'CHILDREN SLOW', so rushing wasnt an option!!

Hannah devon lassy
My dog chewd my arms off so i couldnt drive 2 c u Sory

sanky
i got an concushion on the friday night and slept right through to this morning honestly. then walk into the wall and say "oh the door is over there" it works on mondays only

Becstar!!!!
Um. . . . sorry miss but my llama ate it

luver_girl
I didn't do my homework because Ididn't want to add another work to your already heavy workload.

xenex
i went home with the full intention of completing this assignment, but whne i got home i realized that i want to be a musician when i grow up not mathman, so i decided to listen to some music and play my guitar instead. i was sure that you would understand

Paul Lorenz
I was going to be early but ninjas killed my dog, so i spent the morning learning Kung-Fu to avenge him!

Chriso
I was on the way to school when my homework flew out the window of my car and got sqashed by a steamroler then ripped apart by a t rex....honest

armari
this one works if your late. i was going to come early but i figuired the less time i was in class the better it was for you

Paul
My dad's into the environment and he recycled my homework!

HelloTheir
You see I didn't do my homework cas I was ATTACKED! By wild purple Homework eating cows from sapce. And I didn't want to give it to them so they kid napped me and Tortured me and left me on the road to die..But lucky I was so determined to go to school so I walked here and here I am!

Krystal Prower
My budgie got lice and i had to treat it

joe
my homework ate the dog

DumdeDumDumDum
I couldn't do the homework because I had a massive headache and couldn't write..... No! Dont speak that loud! You are making my headache worse! *Closes eyes, covers ears and puts head on desk* Argh! My head is exploding! *Suddenly stops everything and goes silent* Who are you? Where am I?!

john
i used the new invisible paper and now i can't find it.

Paicey
"i have issues so back off"... slam head on table and stay still

DJ
I had to see a man about a dog...

Rob
I was late because the women in front of me on the bus turned around and threw up on my lap - so I had to go back home to shower and change again - has worked at three different jobs over the years.

Dave
Im late yes! I was late leaving last night and you dont pay overtime, so i thought id even things up by being late this morning, now we are quitzzzzz. Next Question ?

pacho
my homework fell in a puddle, then the puddle froze (great during a harsh winter)

:)
I did do my homework you never said i had to bring it.

greg
my sister ate my homework

Xalizoo
I didn't do my homework because i had very loose vowels.

woz
i was out walking my dog when this ufo came down and said my ship runs on yr11 homework what was i to do let them be stranded!! u should thank me i saved the planet

Snickers
I mistaked it as my want list and sent it to Santa Claus

Puttney
I thought it was sunday, honestly!!!

pete
I'd have been into work on time but my fathers funeral directors had to talk to me.... didn't i mention his death??? Look sad - it'll keep sympathy for weeks

Ryan
I had to go to my funeral. My passion for life had just died.

Thuga
I was starving there was nothing to eat so in order to live i had to eat my homework...

sarah monen
I did my homework and even did extra credit but then I woke up and their was a house burning down next door so I dropped my back pack by the house and ran to save everyone and when I was done saving the day I forgot that my backpack was still by the fire I ran to get it and when I got it back the only thing burnt was the homework !

laura langley
oh i am sorry! Goverment scientists have taken it away as they thing i may have figured out how to cure cancer!

dude
abucted by alinens the night befor and they took me brain out so i could't think sir

anonymos Kre
i went to Alaska for vacation but when I was doing my homework ther, the eskimo's sled dogs ate it.

ZITO
I snapped my neck while climbing up a tree to get the wood to make the paper to do your assignment. my bill is in the mail - good day !

Shafstar
(walk in wearing a black eye) My dads having an affair, my mums on cocaine and my younger brother has run away beasuce of domestic violence. What was it you wanted again?

Ashley
I didn't finish my homework because I was trying to think of an excuse for today.

slammin one
i was training to be a house hold pest instead

Wendy
Que? No hablo anglais?

Unicornicova
Sorry I was attacked by a huge pot of jam and am too traumitised to do any work. Get that jam away from me....(whilt shaking and banging yr head against th wall)

Hail
My hamster needed a bed so i gave him my paper

Luke
Well...I'm really not the working type...

Matthew
Good for anything excuse: "A big boy did it and ran away"

David
When asked why I was only working four days a week instead of five my excuse was "I can't afford to live on three days pay"

Nitro the Loon
I didn't do my homework because my textbook ate my paper and pencil. I'm lucky to be alive...

Munch
My robotic canine companion caused electromagnetic interference causing my printer to hook up with the shredder

jazzman5
My house got infested with bugs and we had to leave.And I forgot it in the house

Dean
I gave up punctuality a few years ago when I realised it wasn't worth the hassle.

Munse
Its only a day late, if there is an infinite amount of time in the universe, then a day divided by infinity is nothing so its actually on time!

DANNY
MY HOMEWORK? OH, SORRY I SNEEZED ON IT SO IN THE INTEREST OF PUBLIC HYGIENE I HAD TO DESTROY IT

Leigh
What? My excuse for not dieting? I've a problem with my feet - I can't keep them out of the pantry!

ali
i saw a UFO and it told me to buy a beer for it

gizmo
my goldfish ate it

stubob steels
a guy called JOE KING (joking) stole it

Hizzy
I was going to come in but the voices in my head told me to stay at home and clean my guns...

Eve
cause I'm in love with you and couldn't focus on the work

vic
after eating my english essay my dog died of ink poisining!

FAZZ
im so sorry im late, i was up all night..... if you want proof ask your mother