Radio Stoke Features
Stuart George... let's talk
Obituary of Common Sense
On BBC Radio Stoke's Mid-Morning show, presenter Stuart George mourned the death of 'common sense'. So many people asked for a copy of what he read out, we thought it only fair to re-produce it here...
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm:
Life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults are in charge not children)
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of an 8 year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims,
Common sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common sense finally gave up the will to live, after a women failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common sense was preceded in death, by his parents, truth and trust
His wife, discretion
His daughter, Responsibility
His son, reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers
I know my rights
I want my rights
I want it now
I’m a victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on if not, join the majority and do nothing.
This is a modified version of a text that's originally attributed to Lori Borgman (www.loriborgman.com)
Rose - My husband is in hospital at the moment, and heard your 'Ode to Common Sense', which he thought was brilliant!
Judy - You are so right and how we , ,who are still sane , will mourn his passing. Good on yer Radio Stoke.
Jean - How True
Bill - most appropriate at this time of so called political correctness.
It's brill - Mo & Phil Washington
I don't think I've heard a piece of prose as brilliant as this one in a long time. Audrey, Newcastle
God rest his soul - Liz in Congleton
Alan - One thing that's always bothered me, when investigators have to identify the victims of a plane crash by their dental records because they don't know who they are, how do they know who their dentist is? And is there another word for Thesaurus?
Good on yer kid, the more this gets about, maybe, just maybe we could do a little bit to resurrect it again. Audrey
last updated: 05/01/2010 at 11:05
Have Your Say
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR COMMENTS. THIS BOARD IS NOW CLOSED.
read it all
JOHN BARROS MOSS
Carolyn - Australia
annette in Crewe