06 March 2007
In poker there are 'sharks' and 'fish'. Sharks typically win, fish typically lose. As the law of the sea dictates, sharks feed on fish. And it ain't often pretty.
If you have to put your money on the big poker game currently taking place at Stamford Bridge we'd suggest Jose Mourinho was circling the water in which Roman Abramovich swims and is looking to feed.
"If the club decides to sack me, that's part of the game," declares Mourinho (the game being football in this instance, not poker). "I'll be a millionaire and I will get another club a couple of months later." Mourinho has suddenly adopted that most dangerous of poker attitudes: having nothing to lose. Of course, that is unless the cunning, smug fox is bluffing.
Thing is, does it really matter to Abramovich if he is? If he calls Jose's hand, Chelsea will remain in the Russian's charge while the Portuguese will walk away with the merest fraction of Roman's fortune. Game over.
The problem is though, this isn't about money, it is about ego. If Mourinho is sacked he takes more than hard cash, he takes the upper hand, and for a businessman more used to swallowing martinis than his own pride, such an outcome is intolerable. Abramovich is in Catch 22: win the battle, lose the battle, either way you will be defeated in the war. Still, it could be worse, he could be Eggert Magnusson.
Hats off to Dwayne Leverock; the left-arm spinner is twice the man Kevin Pietersen is. Literally. The 20-stone policeman weighed in with two wickets (including Pietersen's) in England's World Cup warm-up game with Bermuda.
At one stage England were 132 for 5 and in danger of embarrassing themselves. Thankfully Jamie Dalrymple's 76 helped them to 286 for 8, before Anderson, Lewis, Flintoff et al casually dismissed the Bermudans for 45.
However, the game leaves England no nearer to working out their best bowling attack, settling some lingering batting nerves or eradicating doubt regarding Michael Vaughan's fitness. Still, it's nice to know that England can make an international friendly pointless in any sport.
Hopefully, when the real deal is dealt in the Caribbean, England will be the sharks and not the fish. You can forget pretty, that would be beautiful.
PD
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