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Equation to determine whether to join a gym: Step 1: Multiply The amount of weight you need to lose (F) by S, the value for your marital status (1 for married; 5 for dating but not married; and 10 for single). Step 2: Multiply your tiredness rating (T) by the journey time to the gym in minutes (M). Step 3: Divide the result for step 1 by that for step 2. Step 4: Multiply F, the amount of weight you need to lose, by S, your marital status value. Step 5: Add one to the number of days you've worked out in the gym this week, and multiply this number by C, your rating for how much you need to do other things instead of working out. Subtract the result of this step from the previous step. Then divide this result by 10. Step 6: Add this number to the result of steps 1 to 3. The result is the value of G.

Should you join a gym?

If you have to ask, the answer is probably yes. Watching 10-Minute Abs while eating ice cream isn't the same as working out, though in this equation, if you're safely removed from the dating pool you might be able to get away with it. On the other hand, if you're single, and your toes are but a fading memory, it's time to pump some iron.

This equation measures how important it is for you to go to the gym versus how inconvenient it is to drag your degenerating physique through a blizzard in order to ride the elliptical like a manic hamster.

Of course, everyone has his own fitness comfort level. If you're hoping to make the cover of Iron Bods and Hotrods delete the +1 from inside the parentheses, making it almost imperative that you go to the gym if you haven't been within the last week (in this case, it won't matter if you have a conflict). If you're comfortable relying on the buoyancy of salt water to facilitate your breathing or have recurring nightmares of being chased by a fanged treadmill, you could make the +1 into a +10 and trick the equation into recommending a relaxing night spent watching Buns of Steel whilst munching on some double-fudge brownies.

Find out if you should join a gym

F = Pounds of metabolised fettuccini Alfredo and Ice cream to lose in order to reach ideal weight
S = Marital Status?
T = How tired are you? (1-10 with 10 being "kindergarten teacher the day after Halloween")
M = Minutes to the gym
C = How much do you need to do other things? (1-10 with 10 being "presently coaching wife in labour")
D = How many days have you worked out in the last week? (C'mon, be honest ... )

G =

Should you join the gym?

If G is greater than 1, you should join a gym.

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Should you join a gym?

Find out if you should join a gym

F = Pounds of metabolised fettuccini Alfredo and Ice cream to lose in order to reach ideal weight

S = Marital Status?

T = How tired are you? (1-10 with 10 being "kindergarten teacher the day after Halloween")

M = Minutes to the gym

C = How much do you need to do other things? (1-10 with 10 being "presently coaching wife in labour")

D = How many days have you worked out in the last week? (C'mon, be honest ... )

Should you join the gym?