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I’m single and I hate it
Features 11 Nov 2010

I’m single and I hate it

How to beat the singleton blues with a little bit of clever thinking.

It's not cool to moan about being single. When we're not in relationships we're supposed to be out there, snogging who we want, doing our own thing and generally being single and fabulous.

But what if you hate it?

We asked Slink readers to tell us their singleton woes. You said "I hate being single because..."

1) Being single is boring

It's boring

"You sit around being bored because your best friend is hanging around with her boyfriend and although she loves you, you know deep down that she would rather be with him than you."
Love Al xxx

It's always hard when your mates get boyfriends because, you're right, she probably does want to spend a lot of time with him and that's going to impact on the time she spends with you. That's a mathematical fact.

What you can do:

1) Tell your friend how you feel and remind her that friendship is important. You'll have to be there for her if things go wrong, and it's not fair if she just dumps you for some bloke, no matter how fit he is.

2) Find other people to hang out with when your friend's busy. Ideally, get some other single friends. It's way more fun than sitting around listening to some girl chat on about how great her BF is.


2) I miss the attention

I miss the attention

"I crave the attention of being in a relationship .. and I love the idea that that person belongs to me and no one else ... I normally get dumped by text because I'm clingy... I need a boyfriend!! lol "
Sara, 18

Whoa. Step away from the boys. We admire Sara's honesty about her need to be in a relationship, but it sounds like she's scaring blokes off with her clinginess.

Being single for a while is actually a great way to become a better girlfriend in the long term. It forces you to develop your own interests and make your own friends, all of which will make you a less needy person when you're in a relationship.

What you can do:

1) Find something you can feel passionate about - that isn't boys.

2) Try being just friends with a boy for a change, it's a good way to get to know what boys like and what scares the bejesus out of them.

3) When you like someone, try very hard not to get over excited. It will freak him out.


3) Couples make me feel sad

Couples make me feel sad

"You see couples and wonder why can't I be in love like that and then start to think, Is there something wrong with me?"
Jenni-Marie Cross, 17

"The worst thing is the 'group dates'. They all plan big outings: couples only, and I feel like I'm the only one not going."Veronica, 16

Do you see couples everywhere? Do you find yourself staring at people in relationships, and obsessing about it? So does everyone at one time or another.

So long as you're not actually hiding under people's beds with a kitchen knife, it's normal to feel a bit jealous of couples if you're single.

What you can do:

1) Remember that relationships look incredibly romantic and great from the outside, but they're not all fun. Boys can be smelly, unreliable, and quite unpleasant really, and relationships can be stressful. But you don't see any that from the outside.

2) A couples-only group date sounds completely dull! What is this, Victorian England? We wouldn't be seen dead going on one.

3) Force yourself to stop obsessing about couples. If you find yourself slipping into those thoughts, think about something else. It sounds simple, but if you indulge your jealousy, it will start to eat away at you.


4) People judge you if you're single

People judge you

"If a single person like me wants to do things, go out and meet boys or whatever, then people always call you a slut. It's not fair as I should be allowed to do what I want and other people should keep their noses out. But it doesn't work like that. "Molly, 14

Ever found that once your friends get boyfriends it's like they never went out on the pull but just morphed into one half of a perfect couple without ever getting messy with someone else?

Well, it's rubbish isn't it? Everyone has to kiss a few frogs before they find their prince, and there's nothing wrong with going out there and getting a bit of action.

What you can do:

1) The people that are hassling you or judging you are probably just jealous. Meeting new people, especially new boys, is amazingly fun. And when you're in relationship you really miss it.

2) Don't go on a mad quest to find a boyfriend by snogging the whole world. You're more likely to have a good relationship with a lad you already know than some random bloke.


So what's the moral of the story?

If you're single and hating it there's only two things you can do:

One, you can learn to be happy and single. Two, you can get a boyfriend.

But if you bypass step one and go straight for two, we guarantee you'll be single and hating it again in no time.

So rejoice in your singleness, get out there, have fun, love yourself and then stand back as the charging hordes of boys come running...

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