Life as a stutterer is very hard. Stuttering is not widely understood or discussed. Its enormous effect on an individual is definitely not seen by people. Stuttering came to public eyes mainly due ‘pop idol’ Gareth Gates. There is no cure for stuttering and one percent of the population stutters. It affects mainly men.

I find it hard to talk to people that I don’t know and would get very anxious and try to avoid speaking to a group of people. I am especially nervous when I am speaking to an attractive woman as I feel I have make good impression and feel that I must speak in a fluent way otherwise she would have negative feelings. But because I can’t be fluent I try to avoid the embarrassment and not talk them. So I miss out on making friends and relationships.

Job interviews are a nightmare. So is answering telephone calls. I’ve had people hanging up on the other end of the phone because I couldn’t get words out in time! I’ve had several job interviews and in each of them I stuttered but some interview panel members are helpful, while others seemed taken aback by my stuttering and looked embarrassed. I know I can’t compete with fluent speakers. All these greatly affect my self esteem and my outlook on life recently became a bit depressed.

I feel I am socially excluded from society and that I am unable to secure a decent job, unable to make relationships and basically very frustrated at not being able say what I wanted to say or when I wanted to say it. As a result I have unwillingly become a very quiet person who does not talk to people and avoids speaking in meetings or in group discussions. As a consequence I am perceived by people around me as shy, quiet or even unfriendly – none of it is true! In fact I love talking to people but because of the sheer embarrassment of my stutter I mostly keep my mouth shut! I even left a course as I had to give a 30 minutes oral presentation.

Close friends suggest that I need to overcome my embarrassment to be myself when talking to people including women, so that people can see my stutter and decide to be friends. Also they suggest that I tell people that I stutter so that they are ready for my blocks and don’t feel taken back. I will have to make the effort to speak to people and join the society and take part in it.