Imagine, if you will, that Guy Ritchie fancied boys instead of Material Girls, and was Irish, and you'd be close to envisioning "9 Dead Gay Guys". Yes, yet another graduate from the "Lock Stock" school, but at least this one gets some marks for originality.
For where else could you see actor Steven Berkoff being sodomised to death? Or a sexually frustrated dwarf wielding a cattle prod? Or an overweight lesbian who pimps out three well-endowed West African brothers? Where indeed, I hear you cry.
Byron (Brendan Mackey) and Kenny (Glen Mulhern) are two Irish lads in London who decide to subsidise their Giros by servicing customers at a local gay bar, largely populated by richer, older men.
But when their best customer, legendary Queen (Michael Praed), is found dead, the boys set their sights on the bed of an Orthodox Jew nicknamed Goldilocks, which is rumoured to be stuffed with cash. But first they must pass Goldilocks' Really Hard Red Bull Test.
During this quest the eponymous dead guys emerge, but the freewheeling plot is really beside the point. "9 Dead Gay Guys" is all about having fun with the most outrageous clichés, and it does this with a real sense of fun.
Unfortunately director Mo Lab is so caught up in flashy visuals that he misses the fact that the script is badly structured and stuffed with cringe-worthy gags.
No amount of comedy mincing or whiz-bang camera trickery can disguise its thiness. By the end of this trip to the cinema, you'll be desperate to 'come out'.
"9 Dead Gay Guys" is released in the UK on Friday 19th September 2003.