Forty Nine - Address Unknown
It's an emotional week for Morris as he says goodbye to Norman,
but gets one step closer to Milo. We also discover what's wrong
with Moreton Say's clock and why you should never try to fit an
EP573-5 fax toner cartridge into an EP575-T.
Forty Eight - Donkey Business
Seemingly alone in a deserted Greek town, Morris prepares to cross
the Atlantic to do battle with his nemesis. But first, he must find
Norman, his missing donkey.
Forty Seven - Brand New Heavy
Morris is finding it tough going in Greece.
Facing strong competition from a big-thinking Milo (and a big bodyguard),
we ask if Morris has finally met his match.
Forty Six - Unfriendly Fire
With his donkey in charge of travel arrangements, Morris
leaves Albania behind and heads south. Back in Greece, his motivation
is renewed when he encounters some unwelcome competition.
Forty Five - Albanian Wisdom
Ditching his French Horn and donning a cloth cap, Morris
takes his message of Salopian goodwill to Albania.
Week Forty Four - Great Eggspectations
Although almost certain death camps out on Morris' dusty
patio, help arrives... carrying a tuba. Music, orchestral ramblings
and the little-known history of the ubiquitous eggcup.
Forty Three - Fashion Victim
gets chased out of Athens and heads for the hills in the latest
instalment... but not before he becomes a published author (Seriously!).
Forty Two - Olympics, Day 17
A pair of trousers, a jumper and a calendar with some kittens
in it is more than Morris needs to sustain him as he reminds Athens
of the origin of the modern Olympics.
Forty One - New Beginnings
Morris might not be much of a midwife... but he finds his passport
and accepts his mission to "smash open the padlock of falsehood"
and take his message of Salopian goodwill to an unsuspecting world.
Forty - Gingerbread and Tears
Morris has trouble persuading his mum to let him have his passort
back. However, he's got plenty to keep him busy in Moreton Say -
including a run-in with the Market Drayton police, reorganising
a stationery department and help deliver Sophia's baby.
Thirty Nine - Alive and well in Moreton Say
that 'certain death' isn't what it used to be as Morris wakes up
in a perfect world... that'll be Shropshire. Morris discovers that
mother Moreton Say provides everything that makes life worth living
- Countdown, Carol Vorderman and those Dangermouse pyjamas that
should have been destroyed in 1996. We even seized the chance to
the man himself.
Thirty Eight - Flying Popeless
The group of adventurers are still airborne (just about), but Phil's
navigation is causing a few concerns. Apparently there's a sea lion
in the jacuzzi... Meanwhile we wonder if the end is nigh?
Thirty Seven - A Shot in the Arm
Still in Alaska, Morris faces accusations, negativity, bullets and
something that would make Aunt Felicity squeamish. But Morris is
master of his own fate and nothing's going to stop him from getting
back to Moreton Say.
Thirty Six - Dogged Irritation
is on his way home. But first he has to find a military base, with
a nutter for a guide... and a mythical bear (with a penchant for
baking) tracking his every move. Can Morris replicate the form he
displayed in the legendary summer of 1993?
Only time will tell!
thing is beyond doubt: Devon (and Aunt Felicity) have a lot to answer
Thirty Five - A New Hope
small, frosty backwater of Alaska, a minor rebellion is brewing,
fueled by the "knife and fork of [Shropshire] goodness and
Life may be cheap in the town of Lost Hope, but there's a new Pope
in town... and he comes from west of Market Drayton!
Thirty Four - The Pope of Lost Hope
Morris' paranoia turns into reality as he is demonised by the good
folk of Lost Hope. Little does Morris know that a shadowy, James
Bond-style villain, lies behind this victimisation. And some terrible,
terrible news from back home.
Thirty Three - The Photocopier of Fate
plunge below zero, Morris has to contend with hyperactive huskies,
frostbite and a dodgy palmtop pc. At least the paperclips come in
handy! All is certainly not well with the huskies: "Thomas
Telford urinated on Percy Thrower. Percy retaliated by trying to
mount him and Sandy Lyle MBE ate all my mints".
Thirty Two - The Year of Morris
It may be a white Christmas, but Morris feels the big chill
in Alaska. However, Morris has the flame of Shropshire truth to
keep him warm... and Jimmy 'The Flake', who reveals that there's
'sno business like snow business.
Week Thirty One
- Earth moves for Morris
attempt to enter the Tokyo consciousness - A week of earth tremors,
tupperware and the tale of the 1978 Shropshire mission to Mars.
Thirty - Twisting my Melons
unfortunate incident involving a van load of melons and a group
of rampant octogenarians... And then things start to get really
Week Twenty Nine
Of The Fish
heads for Tokyo and discovers that Japanese fish aren't as friendly
as his pet goldfish Dave....
Week Twenty Eight - Model Moreton Say
Morris finally found his niche in the comfortable Shaolin community?
Has his quest for Salopian peace and harmony reached fruition? Well
Twenty Seven - 'The Bosoms of Opportunity.
Morris leaves the beaten track in China and heads into the mountains.
Just as he's about to breathe his last, help arrives in a strange
Week Twenty Six - The
Less Trodden Path
It's dodgy DVDs, Doris Day, genetically-modified rabbits and burnt
nipples for Morris as his adventures continue in rural China!
As Morris discovers, "The less trodden path is often so full
Twenty Five - 'The way of the badger!'
The hand is quicker than the eye for Morris in Shanghai... and legs
are quicker than both!
Our unwavering Salopian becomes a one man death machine as he's
forced to follow the way of the dragon.
All is not well!
Twenty Four - Adventures in Advertising
Our intrepid idealist takes it all in his stride in Shanghai as
he adopts a little eastern philosophy:
"Sometimes you have to awaken the sleeping dragon to find out
what it really thinks."
Week Twenty Three - Morris entertains the waiting passengers
at Frankfurt Airport with a few games of bingo but gets involved
in a fracas with an angry American couple. Finally he boards his
flight to Shanghai and learns that there's more to tea in China
than there is in Market Drayton.
Twenty Two - Having escaped the clutches of mad Mavis the
pet therapist, Morris checks into a German hotel where he enters
a poetry competition... but will his verses about Moreton Say and
the merits of international bingo markers be enough to impress the
Twenty One - On
a coach trip to Germany Morris finds that the other passengers are
not as interested as they should be in his tales of Shropshire life.
After a breakdown, Ignatius the driver goes AWOL and Morris is left
to the mercy of Mavis the pet therapist who has taken rather a shine
Twenty - It's all Dutch to Morris as he tries to persuade
the people of Gorinchem to move to Shropshire. He gives a great
speech in the main square and many people are moved.. in fact they're
so moved that they disperse like as many autumn leaves leaving a
leafy pile of leaves.
Nineteen - "Today
I was given the great honour of naming a new child, a little girl
that had been born the day before. Each new member is given a commune
name, a creature and a colour... None of them looked terribly happy
as I held little Red Herring and told them how lovely she was."
Eighteen - Travelling
to 'hell and back' at 120mph with a narcoleptic Hell's Angel may
not be the safest way to see Holland, but Morris doesn't care. He
journeys on, spreading the Shropshire message wherever he goes.
Seventeen - Amsterdam's nightlife proves a bewildering experience
for Morris, who will never again buy instant custard. The week proves
a success however, as Morris says, "Wherever the wind of
fate blows me, I know there is a small rubber shop in Amsterdam
that will be forever Shropshire."
Sixteen - Amsterdam proves full of surprises for Morris.
He meets a man called Hans with hands like shovels and spends a
couple of evenings on his canal boat where he encounters something
that shouldn't be touched with a bargepole... and then proceeds
to touch it with a bargepole!
Fifteen - This week Morris holds a Salopian Auction in Perth,
offering Aussies the chance to bid for some postcards, some polaroids,
a packet of Polos and the services of Morris himself. Sadly he discovers
he is only worth $17.50... which is slightly less than the Polos...
Week Fourteen - Morris reaches Perth in Western Australia
and sets out to find Biggest Bingo... he's acutely aware that his
campaign to Shropshire-ise the world is not hitting home. Action
must be taken, so he plans a great Salopian auction - with himself
as star prize!
Thirteen - Morris says a sad farewell to John, Paul, George,
Ringo and Jon Bon Jovi to hitchhike across the outback...from Ayres
Rock, spending a couple of nights at the Filthy Mug... trekking
for days on end... and hang on... isn't that Ayres Rock?
Twelve - Morris starts out for Ayers Rock with the female
Beatles tribute band but things don't go well and when the girls
start hallucinating, Morris is forced to call the flying doctor...
"John had started to call me Yoko so he arrived just in
Week Eleven - The Americans just weren't ready for him -
will the Aussies fare any better? This week Morris meets a fellow
Salopian is shocked to discover that he doesn't want to go home...
Morris soon fixes that! And all before heading into the outback
with a female Beatles tribute band.
Ten - The Winnebago surfing turns out to be a really bad
idea... especially as Morris doesn't 'bond' with the 'magic hat'...
but every cloud has a silver lining... the hospital provides Morris
with the inspiration he needs to travel to his next port of call...
Week Nine - "Am I doing
something wrong?" Morris asks, as war breaks out in Iraq. George
and Tony are just not listening and poor Morris is beleaguered by
self doubt. Still at least he meets a nice couple with a Winnebago,
a lizard and couple of hard hats...
Week Eight - Watch out Country Life Magazine - Morris has
heard about the survey where Shropshire came only 20th out of 37
counties... he is not a happy man. "If Country Life is an
infected boil on Shropshires peachy bottom, then I am the
lance and a course of antibiotics."
Seven - Morris sets up a little piece of Shropshire in a
park in Hueytown but even the free sandwiches and lemonade don't
win him a crowd... so, disappointed but not disheartened, he travels
on to Tuscaloosa where he launches a media campaign....
Six - Morris' mission continues, hampered only by a sore
bottom and a mild headache. After two orange flavoured junior aspirin,
he hitches a lift with a trucker called Ahab and realises that he
is a dazzling beacon of purity in a world tainted by country music
Week Five - Our traveller presses on to take his message
into the wilderness that is the United States of America, where
multi-channel TV and truckers who aren't ho they seem await him...
Week Four - Morris Lands in the USA and promptly gets locked
Week Three - Inspiration is found in the form of some nice
naked Australian ladies.
Week Two - Across the Shropshire border and beyond.
One - Morris gives up his job and
sets out on his mission to bring peace to the world.