Introduce yourself:
As what?

Just give us your name:
Rooftop. Nah, I can't say that.

How old are you?
21.

And where are we right now?
My house: The Tower [laughs]! The pub.

And this is upstairs in your shed.
Aye, totally - it was a conversion we made.

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How did you manage that? That's some feat that is!
We made it with palettes that we stole from the ditch at the building site. It was a three o'clock mission.

How many people do you employ?
Five.

Is it private or are the locals allowed in?
Nah, locals are allowed - all female.

So it's self-sustaining?
Aye, totally.

And Thursday's pole dancing night?
Sunday night. I had to change it [laughs].

The trails that are in your back garden - how long have they taken to build?
We first started digging in '97, and built tiny jumps and then left them until January and then me and Ranja dug for three months in a row.

This year?
This year, in the winter, for like twelve hours a day. Seriously man - in the snow and everything.

Have you developed big guns as a result of all the spade work?
I'm trying but it's not happenin'. I've not got Dave Sowerby arms yet like [laughs]. We had a mole helping us for a couple of days [laughter]. Seriously - he crawled out of a hole and was just digging away.

Did you actually see it?
Aye, it was Dave's mate.

What was it called?
Moley. He couldn'ae see very well so we were trying to get him some glasses.

And then it seemed like there was a point where loads of people started to come down to help dig.
Aye, naebody was interested to start with, they were all digging at Penicuik and then they got sort of interested and then it just got wild, like really wild. Eight hour sessions every day, digging - Dave doesn'ae let you finish like. You're there every day until the sun goes down.

He's the gaffer?
Oh aye. He's the boss.

How many breaks are you allowed?
You're not allowed a break.

Is there a trails-building etiquette?
You have to have a break, or you'll die [laughs], the jumps have to be wet to dig...

Do you have any rules?
You have to bring Stella if you want to ride [laughter]. That is actually a rule - it's the number one rule. There are no other rules.

Except that Fergus isn't allowed to poop in your loo.
Oh! He's barred from all toilet facilities! He stinks!

Fergus: There's the rule that you came up with for Keddie - if he breaks a lip, you break his lip [laughter].
Aye - he was trying to tootpick the bowl and I screamed it at him.

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Has anyone cased more jumps than the Yeti?
Hmmm, no. Conan gave it a go though; he came along and managed to hang up with his head, his shoulder and chin, all on the first jump. He packed it pretty good though.

Has that been the worst crash?
Nah - the worst crash was Drew doing a 360 over the big jump and he pretty much cleared about 25ft to flat and landed on his hip from about 12ft up.

And then he had a large scab?
For about three weeks. He's wearing sandals the now 'cos his feet are still that sore. He managed to rip his feet and everything.

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