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16 October 2014

Flying Cat - February 2007

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Is that a pud in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?

Mpu has returned from a brief sojourn in the Far West bearing gifts. Fpu was overcome with emulsion and hardly knew where to look, as he handed her a paper bag containing a plump, juicy, gleaming, gorgeous.....
It's in the bag...
Oh my what a size!
Oh my what a size - and that's one of his small ones!
As usual, I am quite unimpressed by the things that excite those bipeds!
Posted on Flying Cat at 17:22

Flying Cat to The Rescue!

Ever since I read of the dreadful plight of those poor bereft men on Lewis and the other Isles of the Far West, I have been casting around for a solution. Browsing through last Saturday's Hootsmon (not an organ I usually patronise, being an Heraldic Feline) I came accross this small, seemingly insignificant article, and had one of those Eureka moments, vouchsafed to so few....
Bosom Buddies
A women's hospital in Liverpool has cut the cost of teaching mothers to breastfeed by using model breasts knitted by hospital staff.
Feeding co-ordinator Kate McFadden has knitted several pairs of fake breasts in a variety of skin tones.
She said, "They are vital to us and are a low-cost, simple teaching tool. You can buy model breasts, but they cost around £35 each, which is quite prohibitive to us as we need around 50 pairs."
So, after some serious thinking in a drawer, like you do...
Leave me to think
Just leave me alone to think...
Flying Cat in Deep Thought
Flying Cat in Deep Thought.
It seemed to me that if the Wimmin of the West needed a way to keep themselves occupied and, at the same time, earn serious dosh, at seventy quid a pair, this is the answer to the problem of female depopulation. A bit like 'A Town Like Alice' only with falsies instead of shoes. So I comissioned a small prototype and here it is. I do hope your cooncillors like it - they shouldn't have a problem with such an uncontroversial, inexpensive proposition. It's not as if I am suggesting planting 181 giant wind turbines on one of the British Isles' last bits of that would be difficult!
Eff Cee's Knitted Boob - Profile
Eff Cee's Knitted Boob - Frontal View
Full Frontal
Eff Cee's Knitted Boob - Full Frontal Close-up.
Posted on Flying Cat at 23:02


What does a cat of great inner resource do with leftover oo? It's squeally obvious: 2007 is The Year of The Pig: where would a fastidious feline find a fragrant, pong-free piggy? The answer my friend was growing on the pins, the answer was growing on the pins... A short time and a quick knit later, enter Eff Cee's wee plump pal, all perky and pinky (what do we want what do we want we want mewsic...),
Pig-with-no-name again.
but, when all's said and done, a lonely peedie porker in need of pals. So, accompanied by fpu, we scoured Anorak Towers for Significant Other Weiners (SOWs - a three letter crony m for Annie B) and found...
salt pig
Salty Seadog Pig, who hails from Westray,
stone pig
Stoned Pig, who chills in Airing Cupboard, and,
very small pig
Very Small Occupational Pig (in a Big Hug.)
very small pig
V.S.O.P. (being Very Brave Indeed!) and,
very small pig
V.S.O.P. (playing Dominie at the Chalk Face.)
Me, m'Marmalade Chum, 4porkers, and all at Rolling Acres, wish all and sundry a very happy Year of The Pig!

Posted on Flying Cat at 18:29

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