Flying Cat - February 2007

Mpu has returned from a brief sojourn in the Far West bearing gifts. Fpu was overcome with emulsion and hardly knew where to look, as he handed her a paper bag containing a plump, juicy, gleaming, gorgeous.....

It's in the bag...

Oh my what a size - and that's one of his small ones!
As usual, I am quite unimpressed by the things that excite those bipeds!

Ever since I read of the dreadful plight of those poor bereft men on Lewis and the other Isles of the Far West, I have been casting around for a solution. Browsing through last Saturday's Hootsmon (not an organ I usually patronise, being an Heraldic Feline) I came accross this small, seemingly insignificant article, and had one of those Eureka moments, vouchsafed to so few....
Bosom Buddies
A women's hospital in Liverpool has cut the cost of teaching mothers to breastfeed by using model breasts knitted by hospital staff.
Feeding co-ordinator Kate McFadden has knitted several pairs of fake breasts in a variety of skin tones.
She said, "They are vital to us and are a low-cost, simple teaching tool. You can buy model breasts, but they cost around £35 each, which is quite prohibitive to us as we need around 50 pairs."
So, after some serious thinking in a drawer, like you do...

Just leave me alone to think...

Ommmm....

Flying Cat in Deep Thought.
It seemed to me that if the Wimmin of the West needed a way to keep themselves occupied and, at the same time, earn serious dosh, at seventy quid a pair, this is the answer to the problem of female depopulation. A bit like 'A Town Like Alice' only with falsies instead of shoes. So I comissioned a small prototype and here it is. I do hope your cooncillors like it - they shouldn't have a problem with such an uncontroversial, inexpensive proposition. It's not as if I am suggesting planting 181 giant wind turbines on one of the British Isles' last bits of wilderness....now that would be difficult!

Eff Cee's Knitted Boob - Profile

Eff Cee's Knitted Boob - Frontal View

Eff Cee's Knitted Boob - Full Frontal Close-up.

What does a cat of great inner resource do with leftover oo? It's squeally obvious: 2007 is The Year of The Pig: where would a fastidious feline find a fragrant, pong-free piggy? The answer my friend was growing on the pins, the answer was growing on the pins... A short time and a quick knit later, enter Eff Cee's wee plump pal, all perky and pinky (what do we want what do we want we want mewsic...),

Pig-with-no-name.

Pig-with-no-name again.
but, when all's said and done, a lonely peedie porker in need of pals. So, accompanied by fpu, we scoured Anorak Towers for Significant Other Weiners (SOWs - a three letter crony m for Annie B) and found...

Salty Seadog Pig, who hails from Westray,

Stoned Pig, who chills in Airing Cupboard, and,

Very Small Occupational Pig (in a Big Hug.)

V.S.O.P. (being Very Brave Indeed!) and,

V.S.O.P. (playing Dominie at the Chalk Face.)
Me, m'Marmalade Chum, 4porkers, and all at Rolling Acres, wish all and sundry a very happy Year of The Pig!