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Episode 9 : "Mad Science!"

September 2007


Our group are attending the Orkney Science Festival. They are wearing white-coats, rubber gloves and goggles, standing around a metal table loaded with lab instruments, holding cups in their hands.

MORAG : Okay folks, pour some H2O into your receptacles ...

They remove individual glass vessels off small burners in front of them, and pour the water into their cups.

MELODAIDH : Wow. I feel like a real scientist, Morag.

Morag, although largely hidden behind her scarf, can be seen to beam proudly.

MORAG (CONT’D) : Take a spoonful of powder and add it in.

MUNRO : What are we making again?

Morag : Patience, Munro. Now, pour in some emulsion of butterfat globules...

MUNRO : It better explode at the end.

MORAG : ... stir, and take a wee sip.

Munro : (drinks from his cup) TEA?! We made ordinary tea.

MORAG : A scientifically perfect cuppa!

Munro puts his cup down, disappointed, and Dwelly pops out of it, wet but smiling.

DWELLY: Dè tha sibh a’ dèanamh? (What are you doing?)

Munro : (in broken Gaelic) Tha sinn a’ dèanamh ‘bog standard’ tì ... apparently

(We’re making bog standard tea, apparently!)

DWELLY : (in Gaelic) Thusa? ... A’ Ghàidhlig? .... Nach math sin! (You? ... Gaelic? I’m impressed! (Literally: Isn’t that good!))

Munro: Yeah, but I wanted it to explode!

Dwelly snaps his fingers and everyone’s teacups explode, splattering liquid everywhere.

DWELLY : (in Gaelic, cheekily) ’S e ’m balach Dwelly! (Don’t mess with Dwelly!)

DWELLY : (laughs) Next month you better keep your eye on the ball.

Brochan has been slurping tea from a pool on the table, but turns his attention to licking the wet Dwelly. Dwelly flees back into the ground.

Gaelic used in this episode

Dè tha sibh a’ dèanamh? - What are you doing?

Tha sinn a’ dèanamh ‘bog standard’ tì! - We’re making bog standard tea!

Thusa? A’ Ghàidhlig? Nach math sin! - You? Gaelic? I’m impressed! (Literally: Isn’t that good!))

’S e am balach Dwelly! - Don’t mess with Dwelly!

The End

The fun continues next month. Make sure you turn on and tune in then for another scientifically perfect episode of Air Splaoid!

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