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Episode 8 : “Jazz club!”

August 2007


We meet our characters on a small, club-venue style stage, during the Nairn Jazz Festival. There’s a drum kit and other instruments set up on the stage.

MUNRO is sitting behind the drum kit, with SEANAIR, dressed like a big band leader, perched on a stool, wielding a trumpet. MELODAIDH stands behind a double bass. MORAG wheels in a tea trolley.

MORAG : Come on Seanair... give us some Dixieland jazz.

Seanair blows ineffectually into the trumpet ... he can’t even produce so much as a squeak.

SEANAIR : Ach, it’s no use... Munro’s the one with the musical talent in the family.

MELODAIDH : Come on Munro, play us a tune.

Munro blushes bright red.

MUNRO : Well I’m more into indie stuff... I don’t really do jazz.

MORAG : Well, just play us something.

Munro’s being shy.

SEANAIR : He’s a fantastic drummer... I bet he could pick up jazz music in a moment.

MELODAIDH : Really? Come on superstar, show me what you can do.

Munro can’t resist Melodaidh’s teasing challenge and unleashes a frenzied barrage of drumbeats, that sound freeform and very LOUD!

The noise makes the others take cover in fright. Brochan lands on a horn, and with a PAAARP, Dwelly pops out, jamming his finger into his one ear.

DWELLY: (shouts) Who let him near the drumkit?

Seanair, Morag and Melodaidh can’t hear him as they all have their hands over their ears.

SEANAIR : (shouts back) Oh, deoch ... Ceart ma-tha ... Dè tha thu ag iarraidh? (Oh, a drink... ok, what would you like?)

MORAG : (shouts back) Chan eil, chan eil an t-acras orm! - (No, I’m not hungry!)

Dwelly SNAPS his fingers and Munro’s drumsticks slowly waft skywards attached to balloons, bringing his errant drumming to a halt.

DWELLY : (wearily) ’S e ’m balach Dwelly! (Don’t mess with Dwelly!)

In obvious relief, Seanair, Morag and Melodaidh take their hands from their ears.

DWELLY : Since you folks like experimenting...

(glances at Munro)

... and not very successfully, next month’s challenge is a science festival.

Brochan blows into the trombone and a LOUD PAAAARP blasts Dwelly back underground.

Gaelic used in this episode

Oh, deoch ... Ceart ma-tha ... Dè tha thu ag iarraidh? – Oh, a drink... ok, what would you like?

Chan eil, chan eil an t-acras orm! - No, I’m not hungry!

’S e am balach Dwelly! - Don’t mess with Dwelly!

The End

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