'If Only I Could Switch My Mum Off!' by Eloise Schaw Miller - aged 8
Listen to Eloise Schaw Miller's story 'If Only I Could Switch My Mum Off!' read by the BBC Radio Drama Company.
'If Only I Could Switch My Mum Off!' by Eloise Schaw Miller
"Turn that TV off!" bellowed Mum. "it's time to do your homework. Where's the remote control?" I was right in the middle of Tracy Beaker and really wanted to watch it . There were only ten minutes left.. I had all weekend to do my homework. I thought, 'You are the most annoying MUM in the whole world'. As I grabbed the remote control before my Mum did, the wicked thought flashed through my mind. "I wish I could switch my Mum off."
I pointed the remote at her. Suddenly I pressed PAUSE.. I glanced at my Mum. She was opening her mouth to say something and she paused. Her mouth was shaped like an oval and she didn't say anything. I waited and blinked to check my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. Her mouth was still like an oval. I could have put a big sweet in her mouth.
I carried on watching Tracy Beaker as if nothing had happened. My Mum just stood there. Her eyes looked really angry but she didn't say anything or move. The programme finished. She still didn't move. I wondered what would happen if I changed channel. We changed to Horrid Henry and turned the volume up. My Mum said 'Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah,'. Perfect Peter started talking and Mum looked angelic and smiled. Then I got bored. So I put her on Pause again. She stayed there with a smile glued on her face.
This was a chance. I could eat chocolate. I could wear Mum's lipstick. I could go to the shop on my own. I could drive her car. I couldn't believe that Mum wasn't even stopping the thoughts in my head. I went down to the kitchen and helped myself to the crispy mint chocolates left over from Christmas. I raced to my parents bathroom and smudged Mum's special Chanel lipstick onto my lips. I sprayed her perfume in the gold bottle onto my neck, like Mum does. I smelt like daffodils.
I went back down to the sitting room to check on Mum. She still had that grin on her face but her eyes looked even angrier. She looked like twins in different moods but in one person. She was still on Pause , but I was worried if I pressed Play she would come back to her normal self, but much angrier. She could see the lipstick and chocolate on my face. I closed my eyes tight.
Suddenly I thought, I could switch the whole remote off. What would happen? My Mum might even disappear. I could watch any programme . I looked at the clock and realised I had a party at 12.00. How would I get there? I thought abut school. How would I get there.? I then thought about hugs, Where would these come from? I thought about Mum warm in bed. Who would cuddle me?
I pressed PLAY, and turned the volume down as low as it would go.