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28 May 2012
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Student Life homepage > School Issues > Bullying : Understanding the school bully

Understanding the school bully

Alison O'Brien, a bullying advisor for the NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children), gets under the skin of a bully to help you stamp out bullying at school

The law is that every school must have an anti-bullying scheme, but children are still being bullied - so are schools listening to this law?

All schools by law have to have an anti-bullying policy in place. That's all they have to have, apart from being directed to ensure that all children feel safe in school. The schools that are more successful in stamping out bullying are raising the profile of bullying on a very regular basis. Some schools are trying peer mentoring, or peer support, which is a scheme where young people are trained to listen to other children and actively support them so you're not coming top down on the bullies. Another scheme is the no-blame approach that focuses on changing the behaviour of the bully, whilst making it clear that their behaviour has to stop immediately. If we support the victim in a very sensitive way, and look at changing the behaviour of the bully, we're more likely to change the culture in schools.

Do you know why bullies turn to bullying?

"Being bullied is never, ever your fault"

Sometimes it can be a problem at home, like a relationship breakdown, which they're not able to cope with. It could be that they are friends with other young people who are bullying and therefore can't get out of the situation and seem to be almost condoning or encouraging the bullying. Bullying is a way of having power, and in other situations they might feel powerless. It might actually give them more confidence, because other people might be provoking them, and therefore they may feel good about themselves.

What do you do if your friend starts bullying somebody? Should I tell someone or try and deal with it myself?

It's hard to tackle it on your own because it could be that the bullying will turn round on you. If you feel very confident, and you know the bullying person quite well, you could say, 'I don't think this is right - why are you doing it?' Alternatively, you could try to speak to another friend or a grown-up, but you could just be ask for advice, rather than wanting the adult to rush in, as it could spoil the friendship between you and your friend.

When is it right to thump a bully?

I wouldn't say it's ever right, even though sometimes you may feel like doing that. If you do that, you're just displaying the same kind of behaviour as the bully. I would suggest that if you don't feel you can talk to somebody else face-to-face, there are helplines. You can contact Childline on 0800 1111, or text them on 0800 400 222, OR look at the website. You could also contact the NSPCC on 0808 800 5000 or on their website, 'There4me'.

How can you deal with text bullying?

This is a really big issue at the moment. A lot of young people are finding this is a problem. I think it's a bit like stalking, because it's unseen and therefore very threatening and should not be ignored. All I can suggest is that young people are very, very careful about whom they give their mobile number to. If it gets really serious, the only thing you can do is change your mobile number, then only give it to people who you really, really trust. Also, as with any bullying, I would suggest you tell someone you trust - it can be anyone - a friend, a brother or sister, mum, dad, teacher. Anybody that you trust - tell them!

Do you have any final pieces of advice for victims of bullying?

Being bullied is never, ever your fault. You have a right to be treated with respect, to feel safe and secure. The majority of people want bullying to stop, and they will support you with this. Bullying is wrong and has to be stopped. Working together, we can do something about it.

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