Bullying can happen to almost anyone. Almost 8 out of every 10 children in the United Kingdom are victims of bullying. Bullying includes teasing, calling someone names, threatening or harassing them. Sometimes it also gets physical, with the bully taking a child's belongings or even pushing or attacking another. Ignoring and excluding a child from friendship groups is also a form of bullying.

It is not always easy to tell if your child is being bullied. These are some symptoms to look out for:

• your child getting upset at the thought of going to school
• your child saying she feels too 'unwell' to attend school every day
• a change in the usual behaviour pattern of your child - she may become very quiet, resentful or be more demanding of your time.
• unexplained cuts and bruises

In 1999, an anti-bullying policy was enforced in schools across Britain. Every school works hard to try to prevent bullying, but unfortunately it can still happen.

• Some children are afraid to talk about bullying as they think telling an adult might make things worse. Whatever age your child is, let her know that you are there to talk to about anything if she needs to.
• If your child does tell you that she is being bullied, help her to understand that it's not their fault, and that she doesn't deserve to be bullied. Talk together about what you can both do to stop the bullying.
• Do take it seriously if your child says she's being bullied. The problem may be easy to sort out, and it may even seem trivial to you, but your child needs to feel you're on her side. Remember, girls can be bullies, and they often bully boys, too.
• If other students at the school are bullying your child, the school has a responsibility to try to sort the problem out.
• If your child is being bullied at school, encourage her to talk to a teacher as well as to you.
• Contact the school and make an appointment yourself, too. A teacher, tutor or year head will know all the children well and will be able to help you decide the best way of sorting out the problem.
• During this appointment, do address the issue calmly. It's natural to feel angry but there isn't any point in being confrontational with the teacher. Discuss the problem and try to come to a resolution. If you feel the issue isn't being dealt with effectively, you may need to contact a more senior member of staff.
• If your child tells you about being bullied, keep a record of every incident, noting down what happened with dates and times. This will be useful evidence to take to the school if the bullying continues.
• Sometimes bullying takes place out of school hours. It might also be done by students from a different school. If this happens, schools may need to work together to resolve the problem.
• Parents of children being bullied could get together and form an anti-bullying action group to support their children.

If you find out that your child is bullying others, it's likely to be a shock. Do try to stay calm, though, so you can get to the bottom of what's going on.

• Discuss what has been going on with your child and find out her side of the story. Children bully for a number of reasons. It may be that she is being bullied herself, or she may be trying to get attention or become popular with a group.
• Help your child to understand how her actions are affecting other children. You may need to talk about this over a period of time. Your child needs to know that bullying is totally unacceptable.
• If the bullying is happening at school, talk to your child's teacher or form tutor to get a better picture of what is going on and what can be done.
• If there are other children involved in the bullying, they may be putting pressure on each other. It may help to speak to their parents - they will probably be as anxious as you are to put an end to the problem.

Based on an article by A Suri

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