Play-fighting or real fighting?

Many children love to charge around screaming, shouting, chasing each other, wrestling, rolling around and generally making a noise. As adults we often try to discourage this kind of behaviour, both at home and at school.

Of course we all need some peace and quiet sometimes, and no one wants children to get hurt, but do rough-and-tumble play, or 'play-fighting', have a place too?

Boys especially often love rough play. A play-fight is not the same as bullying or real fighting. A play-fight can last from 20-60 minutes or more and everyone will still be friends at the end. A real fight lasts about 3 minutes and can be physically and emotionally painful.

Rough-and-tumble play - the benefits

Studies have shown that rough-and-tumble play actually helps children to develop. Through play-fighting children can learn to control their emotions, bodies, expression and anger. They learn their own limits and those of others so that they don't lose control and hurt themselves or others.

Therefore it can be important to allow children time and space where they can just let rip and make as much noise as they like. So long as no one gets hurt, it doesn't need to be stopped - and it could just help you get some peace and quiet later on!

Risk-taking

Risk-taking is a powerful way of learning. When we take a risk, we face success or failure. Success raises our self-esteem. Failure may hurt, but it teaches us to do things differently next time. Children need to learn to make sensible choices as they get older and sometimes this takes a few mistakes.

Of course adults need to limit the risks children take to prevent serious injuries. Ideally, though, we shouldn't remove risks completely. We can't prevent every injury, and minor ones can be a useful learning experience, after all.

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