In this Revision Bite you will find some ideas on how to make a written piece of work sound more interesting. You will practise adding details, especially opinions, as well as giving reasons, which will improve your mark.
Kerry is collecting ideas for her Controlled Assessment on shopping. She needs to include how much pocket money she gets, what she spends it on and where she goes shopping and why.
Ich bekomme 20 Pfund Taschengeld. Markenkleidung ist teuer. Ich gehe in Birmingham einkaufen. In Birmingham gibt es Läden. Es gibt ein Einkaufszentrum. Es gibt Kleidung.
I get a 20 pounds pocket money. Brand name clothes are expensive. I go shopping in Birmingham. There are shops in Birmingham. There is a shopping centre. There are clothes.
Kerry hasn't made any spelling or grammatical mistakes but her account is dull and repetitive in places. She hasn’t said what she likes to buy or what shops she visits the most. She also doesn’t say why she likes shopping.
To improve her mark she needs to add more detail, give examples, provide opinions and justify them with a reason or two.