Internet matchmaking
Muslim internet matchmaking
The internet has sparked a revolution in the way some Muslims are meeting potential partners.
Many young Muslims in the UK are now breaking with tradition by turning to online introduction websites to find a suitable spouse.
In Islam, parents were traditionally expected to facilitate marriage, often by suggesting potential partners for their offspring to consider, but some young Muslims are now using modern technology to find partners for themselves.
The idea of logging on to search for a spouse is a relatively new phenomenon in the Muslim community. Some members argue it violates Islamic etiquettes on marriage - dating and unchaperoned meetings are banned in Islam to avoid the problem of pre-marital sexual activity.
The most important question for Muslims is whether internet matchmaking services are run by genuine providers who conform to Islamic principles.
Bridging the gap between tradition and the modern world
Jason Rahim of the online agency Islamic Faces insists that young Muslims who sign up to his website are serious about making a match that will win their parents' approval.
"You do get some websites where guys log on for fun or just to find a girlfriend," he says. "People who come to my website are serious about getting married."
He adds: "There's a big demand for matchmaking, particularly in the Muslim Asian community."
Rahim, who met his wife through the internet, explains: "I was introduced to women through my family. You have a meeting or a chat for one to two hours and then have to decide if you want to marry them. The pressure to say 'yes' can sometimes be unbearable. If you do say 'yes' it's hard to get out of it if you change your mind at a later date.
"If you're looking online - there's no pressure. You can meet people at your own pace. Or you can even get to know people without meeting. You can chat by email or on the phone. You can also choose someone you know your parents will approve of."
Searching for a partner online
Salman, a 30-year-old Muslim businessman, had been searching for a marriage partner for more than four years before meeting Yasmin, 25, through Islamic Faces.
His family had introduced him to a number of women but none of them had been suitable.
"It wasn't enough just to find a Muslim," he says. "I wanted to find a Muslim from a Mauritian background who spoke Creole and understood the food, culture and way of life."
After Salman discovered Yasmin's profile online he was convinced she would be the perfect match.
He recalls: "She registered on the website in January 2005. I saw her picture and thought: 'Wow, she's very, very attractive. We chatted by email and I found she had the same background as me. On paper we were perfect for each other. She felt the same way as I did about many, many things."
Teething problems
But things took a turn for the worse after Salman sent Yasmin, a graphic designer, a picture of himself.
"I wasn't smiling on it. Then she went on holiday and things fizzled out. I was really upset. I wanted her to at least meet me and give me a chance. I was the first guy she'd chatted to on the internet so she wasn't sure I was the one. I'd been looking for someone for four years so I was sure."
Yasmin recalls: "I wanted to meet a Mauritian Muslim, someone who was slightly older with a good education. Religion and culture are important to me. I'd been to university but hadn't met any Mauritian Muslims there. When I joined Islamic Faces I'd decided I wanted to get married and find someone really special. Salman ticked all the right boxes - education, health, religion and culture.
"But when I saw his picture, I hated it. He looked really skinny and miserable and he was wearing a posey suit. I've got quite an eye for detail. It looked like he had touched up his picture, blended his stubble and changed the shape of his face. My sisters saw his picture and said he looked like a freak."
Perseverance
Four months passed before Salman plucked up the courage to contact Yasmin again with another photo. On the new picture he was smiling. He looked so different that Yasmin didn't realise at first that he was the same person.
"When we eventually met, we had a laugh in Creole and I really liked his personality."
Salman introduced Yasmin to his family and proposed to her during their third meeting.
Both families were delighted with the match. The couple set the wedding date for May 27, 2006.
Yasmin says: "Before I turned to the internet I found it hard to meet men of the right age, religion and culture. I remember going to my cousin's wedding and her family being really happy because she had married a young Mauritian Muslim. I wanted to make my family and parents happy like this too."
Salman adds: "My parents weren't at all concerned I'd met someone on the internet. They were delighted. My mum had found the whole marriage business very stressful. My parents had tried their best to find someone for me but it was hard because they were specifically looking for Mauritian Muslims. There was already such a small pool to choose from and finding someone who was compatible was a massive job.
"When I met Yasmin, we really clicked. I'd met about 70 girls during my search for a wife and felt even after speaking to her on the phone for the first time that she was the one for me."
Please note: The names in this article were changed to protect identities.