A refuge is a safe house for women and children escaping domestic violence. You can stay there (with or without children) until you decide what to do next. Sometimes women just stay for a few days to give themselves a break and sometimes women use it as a stepping stone to leaving permanently.

The addresses of refuges are secret and no visitors are allowed in order to keep the refuge a safe place (a PO box address is used for post). There are refuges all over the UK; if space is available you can stay anywhere that you feel safe and comfortable. This may be your nearest one or it might be the opposite end of the country.

How can I get a place in a refuge?

You can contact a refuge by ringing the 24 hour national domestic violence freephone helpline, 0808 2000 247, run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge who will arrange for a refuge to contact you as soon as possible to make the necessary arrangements.

You can also ask the police or social services to refer you. Most refuge workers work office hours but it's usually still possible to get into a refuge at night or during weekends. If you arrive out of hours you may have to wait until office hours to see a worker.

Refuges accept all women who've experienced physical, emotional or sexual domestic violence:

• With or without children (although some do not take boys over 12).

• Regardless or race - there are also some refuges specifically for Asian, African-Caribbean women, Jewish women and Irish women.

• There's also a refuge specifically for women with learning difficulties.

• There are no dedicated refuges for women with disabilities but many of the mainstream refuges are accessible for women with a range of disabilities.

What's it like inside a refuge?

This can be difficult if you're used to having your own home but the staff will try to make you and your children feel welcome and comfortable. Many women find that the advantage of sharing is that you gain the support of living with other women and children who have had similar experiences.

How can a refuge help me?

• Almost all refuges have paid staff who can give you information and support about your housing, legal and financial options and can also help with your children.

• If you're entitled to housing benefit, refuges can support you in making an application to cover the rent. If you're working then you may have to cover the cost of the rent yourself. You can check these details with a refuge worker over the phone before you arrive.

• If you go into a refuge as a step toward building a new life away from your violent partner and your home, the refuge will support you in trying to get re-housed.

• If you’re an existing council or housing association tenant, the refuge may help you in an application for a 'management transfer’ from your landlord (where you exchange your original property for a new one provided by your current landlord).

• If you need to make a homeless application to a local authority the refuge will also help you in this process. Both these options can take time and you may be living in the refuge for several months. Many local authorities (particularly in urban areas like London) have very long waiting lists for permanent accommodation.

• This may mean that if your homeless application is successful you may have to leave the refuge to live in temporary accommodation provided by the local authority before you get your offer of permanent accommodation. See Applying for permanent local authority housing for further information on this.

Women with immigration issues

Your options will be limited if you have no money and no entitlement to claim benefits (which is often called 'no recourse to public funds'). There are, however, some refuges who will accept women in this position.

If you're in this situation and have children, you can approach your local social services for practical and financial help in finding somewhere safe to go. Social services have a duty under the Children Act to support children in need and can provide funding and accommodation on this basis. You may also wish to seek help from specialist advice agencies such as Women's Aid, Southall Black Sisters - 020 8571 9595 and Imkaan on advice line: 0207 434 9945.

For safety and other issues to do with leaving temporarily see If domestic violence is happening to you

Back to Practical help

This article was last reviewed by Catherine Orr Deas in December 2005.
First published in February 2003.