You may decide to leave your home and your relationship on a temporary basis while you decide what to do next.
You may have left in an emergency or you may have planned this break either to give yourself some time and space while you consider your situation or because you need to be somewhere safe while taking legal action.
Because domestic violence is about control, many abusers can be angry about you making a decision for yourself. For this reason it's important that even if you're only leaving temporarily, you think about the safest way to do this. If possible, try to leave when he is not around.
Where can I go and what should I take?
- Women experiencing domestic violence often need time away from their partner and it's perfectly acceptable to use a refuge for this reason. You don't have to have made a definite decision to leave to get help.
- If you are paying rent for your temporary accommodation, you may be able to get additional financial help with your housing costs. Housing benefit can be paid on two homes while you decide what to do. (For more information on help with housing see What benefits am I entitled to?)
- If you have time, you may find it useful to make a crisis plan to help you work out what to take with you.
Should I take the children?
Even if you are only leaving on a temporary basis, it is still a good idea to take all of your children with you to prevent any possibility of future problems.
If, for example, your partner were to decide to 'punish' you for leaving temporarily by preventing you from having contact with your children, you may find it more difficult to get them back at a later point. There are various legal protections you can apply for. (For more on this see If I go into a refuge without my children, will I be able to get them back? ).
This article was last reviewed by Catherine Orr Deas in December 2005.
First published in February 2003.
