You may have decided that you want to leave both your relationship and your home. If this is the case, here are the things you might need to think about.

If you have time to plan your departure, it might be useful to make a Crisis plan to help you work out what to take with you.

Housing

Depending on your circumstances, you may be able to apply for permanent accommodation through your local authority. This will usually involve some time in temporary accommodation before a permanent offer is made.

The council housing department in your local authority will also be able to give you information about other options such as local housing associations and any schemes such as shared home ownership.

Staying safe

If you need to keep your new location confidential, think carefully about ways that you could be found.

• Be careful about who you give your new address to and ask people to keep it confidential.

• It's a good idea to talk to your children about where you're going but be careful about the timing of this.

• Change passwords and pin numbers on e-mail and bank accounts.

• When registering to vote, specify on the form that you want to only appear on the restricted register.

• If you need to meet with your ex-partner (for example for contact visits with the children) arrange to meet in a neutral and busy place some distance from your home.

• You might want to consider making your home and your telephone more secure. For more, see How can I protect myself and my children?

Legal protection

Some people find that they continue to be harassed by their abuser even after they have left the relationship. If this happens:

• In an emergency, always dial 999

• There are also other legal options available such as taking action under the Protection from Harassment Act or seeking a non-molestation order. For further information about your legal rights see our Practical Help: Your legal rights section.

• If you have children with your abuser you may need to sort out issues such as who the children will live with, and if, and how they have contact with their father in a safe way.

• There may be other legal matters that you need to address like divorce or selling a property. For this, you would normally need a solicitor. (See our section What do I need a solicitor for and how to find one for further information).

Who can I talk to?

If you want to talk to someone in confidence about any of the issues mentioned above or get more information call Womensaid on 08457 023 468 or Refuge 24hr-Crisis line on 0990 995 443. For other useful numbers see Who can I talk to?

This article was last reviewed by Catherine Orr Deas in December 2005.
First published in February 2003.