Your home

Obviously if you're staying in the property, your ex-partner will know where you are. So it's worth exploring ways you can increase you and your children's safety.

• In an emergency dial 999.

• You may want to consider making your home more secure. If your partner has keys to your home you may need to change the locks (be aware that some abusers get their partner’s keys cut secretly which means that it’s possible your partner may have a set of keys that you don’t know about).

• Many local authorities are now running schemes (often called ‘Sanctuary Projects’) to help with home security in cases of domestic violence. These schemes should be available to people living in the private sector and housing association sector as well as those living in council housing.
  • These schemes will advise you on home security issues and if appropriate can organise (free of charge) for locks to be changed, letter boxes to be fire-proofed, window locks to be fitted and doors to be made more secure.
  
  
  • They may also be able to create a ‘sanctuary or safe room’ in your home. This is a room with a secure lockable door and a security button which if pressed would alert the local police station who would then provide police help in the event of an emergency.
  
  
  • You can find out what’s available in your area by contacting your local authority (e.g. the domestic violence co-ordinator, housing advice centre or the community safety unit in the police). Many local authorities also provide information on these schemes on their websites.
  
  

• You might want to change your phone number or use an answer-phone to screen your calls. If you do get harassing phone calls on your answer-phone or voice mail, don't delete these as they can be used as evidence in legal proceedings. Another option is to contact your telephone company for details of the screening options they can provide.

Legal protection

In addition to calling the police in an emergency, there are also other legal avenues you may want to explore.

• The Protection From Harassment Act ('the stalkers law') can be used to stop your abuser from behaving in ways that aren't actually criminal (e.g. coming round uninvited at 2 o'clock in the morning) yet which are still distressing and intimidating. To use this, you'll need to inform the police community safety unit of their harassing behaviour and they can then issue your partner with a formal caution. If they continue to harass you after this, they can be arrested and could face up to five years in prison.

Non-molestation orders

You may want to consider applying for a non-molestation order. This is a civil law injunction forbidding certain types of abusive behaviour (such as violence or destruction of possessions) by a perpetrator of domestic violence towards their current or former partner or family member.

• You can consult a solicitor or a domestic violence advocate from the voluntary sector (e.g. from a domestic violence advocacy service) or a community safety unit police officer for information on how to get one of these orders.

• In most cases your (ex) partner would be told about your application before the court hearing but if you’re worried that they may do something to hurt you before you get to court you can ask the court for an order ‘without notification’ so that he’ll not be told about it until he’s served with the injunction.

• In these situations the court may decide to give you a temporary order until you and your (ex) partner can come back to court (at a ‘return date’ specified by the court) which would give them the chance to put their side of things to the court. The court would then decide whether or not to extend the order further.

• Until recently, victims of domestic violence had to ask the court to attach something called a ‘power of arrest’ to a non molestation order in order for the police to have the power to arrest a perpetrator for breaching (breaking) the terms of the injunction. However, the 2004 Domestic Violence, Crime and Victims Act has changed the law so that breaching a non-molestation order is now a criminal offence for which the police can arrest someone.

• If you get a non-molestation order and your (ex) partner breaks the terms of this order you should inform the local police immediately and they should be arrested and presented to the court for punishment. Perpetrators can now be sent to prison for up to five years for breaching a non-molestation order.

If you're using a solicitor who charges legal fees (which can be very expensive) you may be entitled to get these costs met by the legal services commission. If you’re not entitled to claim your legal costs you may prefer to seek advice from a community safety unit police officer or a voluntary sector advocate (e.g from an advocacy service or women’s refuge) who may be able to support you with your application so that you do not have to employ a solicitor.

Informing others

If you're staying in your home, you might want to think about involving other people who could help you to stay safe. For example:

• You may be worried that your partner could try to take the children from you so talking to your children's teacher or nursery staff might be a good idea. (See Should I tell my child's teacher? for more on this).

• You may also want to talk to your neighbours to ask them tell you if they see your partner in the area. You could also work out an emergency code with them to alert them if you're in danger (e.g. you could ask them to call the police if they should see your kitchen blind drawn during the day).

Who can I talk to?

• You can contact the Rights of Women on 02077 251 6577 or the Men's Advice Line on 0808 801 0327 for further information about injunctions and other legal matters.

• You could also contact the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247.

• You could also contact your local police community safety unit.

• There may also be a free legal advice centre in your local area (your local citizens advice bureau should be able to advice you on this).

• For other useful numbers see Who can I talk to?