Creating a monthly budget The best way to avoid money disagreements is to take time to work out your financial priorities. This exercise, from relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall, can help you decide how much you can spend on what.

In this article

Preparation Decide your priorities

Time to talk Further help

• Before trying this exercise it's worth having a look at the Guidelines for exercises.
• Take one sheet of paper each and create your priority lists separately.
• Agree a time in advance when you'll share your lists.

The first thing you should do is decide your individual priorities. Think about all your monthly expenditure and put each item in order of how important they are to you.

You might like to use subheadings such as 'Essential', 'Important', 'Treats' and 'Luxury'.

Here are some example lists:

Essential:
Mortgage
Gas/electric/water bills
Telephone
Home insurance
Car expenses
Credit card payments
Basic food and cleaning items
TV licence
Kids' clothes

Important:
Work clothes
Special food items and wine
Gym membership
Kids' treats and activities

Treats:
Meals out
Cinema/theatre/days out
More clothes
CDs

Luxuries:
School fees
Holidays
Savings

When you've finished your lists, sit down together and compare your priorities. Chances are there'll be some differences, so you'll need to negotiate and compromise until you have a single list you can work from. Now write down how much money you can afford to spend on each one every month.

If completing this exercise leaves you feeling uncomfortable or you have concerns about your relationship, try talking it through with your partner or a trusted friend. Alternatively, you might want to consider seeing a relationships counsellor. To find out more, see Do you need counselling?