Coping styles Dr Suzy Jordache Everybody copes differently in times of stress. Here, Dr Suzy Jordache looks at the five styles of emotional adjustment you might adopt in dealing with uncomfortable or frightening thoughts and feelings.

In this article

Fighting spirit Avoidance or denial Fatalism

Helplessness and hopelessness Anxious preoccupation

Using previous coping strategies Developing new coping strategies

The person sees the illness as a challenge and has a positive attitude towards the outcome. People tend to seek information from various sources - cancer charities, local information centres, the internet - and make full use of the medical and alternative options available to them.

The threat from the diagnosis is trivialised or denied completely and the future seems bright. This appears to be a surprisingly useful way of coping unless it interferes with accepting treatment. It can be seen as a form of distraction which allows the person to get on with life positively. However, family and friends may find this hard to accept.

An attitude of passive acceptance is shown. Little effort is made to gather information or 'fight', however the person will trust the doctors and take up any treatments offered. This passive style may be frustrating for family and friends. However fatalism is a 'safe haven' and keeps darker and more difficult emotions at bay.

This can be a very distressing adjustment style for all involved. All seems black, survival impossible, and the threat overwhelming. The person 'gives up' and all efforts to cajole them from this negative stance fail. The helpless and hopeless feelings often transfer to those around them, leading to an air of depression. Professional help may be needed.

Constant reassurance is required. Huge amounts of time are spent worrying about the cancer. Any physical symptom is immediately assumed to be a further manifestation of the disease. Excessive information-seeking - particularly on the internet - feeds the anxiety, which at times can be overwhelming and lead to panic. Constant companionship is often required and family and friends find it hard to leave the person alone even for short periods. Waiting for test results and appointments can be intolerable and should be avoided whenever possible. Counselling and teaching of relaxation exercises can be useful.

Whatever the emotional adjustment to stress, the way someone behaves can greatly affect their wellbeing. It can be important to think back and use ways of coping that have helped in the past. Some people talk to friends or family, while others withdraw, preferring to be alone, listening to music, reading books or taking long walks in the countryside. Alcohol and food can be useful, in moderation. Hobbies and social outlets can be vital to use as practical distractions from difficult thoughts and feelings.

It's sometimes not possible to use the ways of coping that have helped in the past. For instance, if someone has used sport or gardening as a way of dealing with anger or emotion in the past, he or she may no longer be well enough to use this tried and trusted strategy.

Treatments get in the way of social events and many people 'go off' various foods and alcohol during chemotherapy and while taking other drugs. Concentration can be poor, making reading or watching films difficult.

The use of complementary therapies can be helpful

Time needs to be spent on developing new ways to cope. The use of complementary therapies can be helpful. For instance, people who've never had a massage may find this an extremely useful way to relieve tension and relax.

The use of support groups to hear how others have coped can be valuable. Developing new ways to cope can be a daunting challenge, but necessary to ensure emotional survival.