Death of a friend When a friend dies, people may not appreciate how much grief it can cause you or your child. Dr Ann Dent offers advice if you lose someone unrelated to you but close to you.

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The death of a friend when an adult

The death of a friend when a child

When a friend dies, what you lose is love, trust, security and safety. Their death is likely to leave a large gap in your life, so it's natural to grieve the loss of your friend and your friendship.

A 'close' friend is someone with whom you've had a meaningful relationship. You've shared many things - confidences, pleasure, time, recreation, good times and bad times too. So, just like the loss of any significant person, the death of a friend will take time to recover from.

Others at work or in your family may not recognise your grief, so you may have to take the initiative to say how you feel.

The death of a young school friend is a devastating experience and very often not fully acknowledged. Although children die expectedly, many deaths in children are sudden and unexpected and so friends are left shocked and disbelieving.

The death may be acknowledged in the school and local community, but only briefly. People may not appreciate the meaning of the loss and wonder why young people aren't recovering more quickly. As children spend most of their day at school, it's worth contacting your child's teacher so that together you can work out what's best for him or her.

The Childhood Bereavement Network offers a range of postcards to help children, teachers and parents.