The author Fredrick Forsyth has come into possession of a letter from a retired secret agent, resident in Dorset, to the chief of the secret intelligence service.
Following the announcement from Poole council he regards it as of such importance to the security of the nation that it is his professional duty to reveal its contents.
To: Sir John Scarlet, Vauxhall Cross, London.
From: Buffy Throgmorton, Dun-Spookin Cottages, Studland, Dorset.
I don’t know whether you will recall me from our Moscow days, but I’ll bet a chota peg to a weapon of mass destruction that you will recall the Portland bill spy ring of 40 yrs ago. We were both young sprogs when Cecil Horton and Bunty Gee were nabbed only a few miles from where I now sit.
I suppose like many of us you may have been tempted to think Dorset would be free of that sort of thing in future.
Couldn’t have been more wrong old bean.
The reds are no longer under the bed but buying up Belgravia, and we may have thought the new menace was al-Qaeda. Wrong again.
A far greater menace has reared its ugly head just across the water from Dun Spookin.
It seems people may be foxing their post codes to get their toddlers into the wrong playschool. I kid you not, some of these swine are absolutely ruthless when it comes to a pile of Lego.
By the grace of providence the security chief in Poole is young Tim Martin whose cover is quite brilliant – Head of Legal and Democratic Services at the council.
Old Dickie Franks couldn’t have thought up a better one than that.
Anyway, young Tim was onto the blighters the moment a mole tipped him the wink. Put them under surveillance night and day. Phone tap, mail intercept, pavement artists up and down the street, tail on the car, you know the score.
Cost the tax payers an arm and a leg, but you can’t be too careful when you’re operating under counter terrorism legislation against blaggards, who would slip a 3 year old into the Lilliput first school while living a few yards outside the catchment area
As it happened they weren’t. They had fulfilled all the rules and regs for inserting their offspring into the Lilliput. And of course any al-Qaeda bomber could have swanned into Dorset and blown county hall to kingdom come.
But young Tim knows his duty when it comes to keeping the county safe. Priorities are priorities after all.
I must rush chief. From my windows I have just seen a ten year old boy scout throw an apple core into the sea from the Swanage ferry. This is another one for Tim.