- Dirk Gently
- Played by Harry Enfield
A non-graduate of St Cedd's College, Cambridge, Dirk Gently (formerly known as Svlad Cjelli and Dirk Cjelli) claims to be a "holistic detective" who makes use of "the fundamental interconnectedness of all things" to solve the whole crime, and find the whole person (or cat).
Showing more interest in quantum mechanics than fingerprints he is a firm believer that Sherlock Holmes' advice, "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth" is wrong.
Critics say he is a conman whose 'detecting' is basically an excuse to run up very large bills at the expense of gullible old ladies. In his defense Dirk counters that he can't really be accused of fraud since no one ever pays the bills.
A previous attempt to earn money as a psychic had a similarly chequered outcome. His perfect success rate led to some awkward questions being asked by the local constabulary (in the person of the then Detective Constable Gilks of the Cambridgeshire Police) and resulted in a short prison sentence.
However despite his limited success and erratic manner his intelligence should not be underrated.