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SHORT STORY COMPETITION
The challenge was to write the first 100 words of a novel in any genre, such as thriller, romance, chick-lit, etc. A survey commissioned for
World Book Day
had revealed that accountants spend more time reading for pleasure than any other profession, so therefore in the first 100 words you had to feature an accountant as a character and include five words from the accounting world: offshore, loophole, savings, spreadsheet, and figure.
Winners will receive complimentary book vouchers.
AND THE WINNERS ARE...
Listen to the winning entries being read
ANTHONY MASON: FIRST PLACE
In his office Monday morning
With his coffee and digestive,
Running Total, chief accountant
Sat frustrated and despondent.
Of the Tribe of Number Crunchers
Chief he was, and proud to be so;
Proud in fight with wolf-like Taxman
Proud to shelter profits offshore.
But his savings now were shrinking,
Shrinking like the snows in springtime,
Money rushing like a river
To the pockets of some fraudster.
How to figure out the problem?
So it was that Running Total
Biro wielder, spreadsheet demon
Started out to seek the Loophole
Went to find his missing millions,
And to bring them home triumphant.
JUDY WALKER: SECOND PLACE
Eric discreetly adjusted his position, easing the majority of his weight – whilst still talking lucidly of tax savings and offshore investment – onto his right buttock. The other board members studied the spreadsheet in silence. Sensing approval, Eric relaxed a little, thoughtlessly allowing his weight to sink back to centre. The pain caught him like a loophole being yanked closed.
“Well, you’re the bloody accountant. Just tell us whether we can pull it off.”
Just for a moment, Eric visualised himself standing on the table, dropping his pants and displaying the tattooed figure on his rear.
RACHEL COX: THIRD PLACE
Jack had been God's accountant for years. He hadn't applied for the position, instead a heavenly figure had appeared in his living room and promptly deposited him on a cloud before he could find a loophole in his employment contract. He looked again at the spreadsheet in front of him. Now that he'd created the universe, God had bided His time on the stock market, investing in bananas and offshore oil rigs. Due to an untimely accident involving a banana boat and an oil rig, God's only savings were rapidly evaporating. A bit like the cloud Jack was sitting on.
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