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Latest Synopsis

Devoted to Archers listeners, this is where we show off their multiple talents!

Fantasy Archers
question mark

Jim's Quiz
by typewright
"Written in the 14th century, this allegorical poem..."

flying pig

Pigs Might Fly
by Anarchers
"The Sopwith Porker lurched as the weight of its unusual ordinance hurtled in the direction of the toilet tent."


Sometheeng to hide?
by DebZ
"Salieri, haf you been dreenkeeng?"

Peggy Mitchell, played by Barbara Windsor

Peggies Reunited
by WalterLittlewood
"Peggy Mitchell arrives in Ambridge, hair immaculate, with only a few scorch marks on her suitcase..."


Allo LoLo!
by Vicky S
"I suppose it would be terribly unreasonable of us to expect the tenants to wear 18th Century under-gardener's clothing!"


From Ambridge to Limerick - Part 10
by various
"Poor old Tiger rang Lil from the clink,
He said "I can't wait ter see yer I fink."

milk in pan

Phantoms - Part One
by farmingannie
" felt as if an icy hand had gripped her stomach..."

A bee

Death, Where Is Thy Sting?
by typewright
"Jill was with her bees again, carefully checking the new cells that were nurturing the next generation of queens ..."

log book

The Misdemeanours Book
by various
"Please will Volunteers kindly refrain from bringing personal items into the Community Shop ..."


Saturday Night At El Toro
by Minihohum
"The old saloon on the Tex-Mex-Ambridge border known as El Toro was quiet round about siesta time."


Pip's diary/Jude's Journal
by typewright and Vicky S
"Im sooooooooooooooo worried/Drove back this pm from brilliant few days ..."


From Ambridge to Limerick - Part 9
by various
"In a plan that is hard to believe Hellqueen has a yen to conceive"

village pond

Life After Death
by Sixties Relic
"The last thing that Amanda saw as her car somersaulted across the motorway ..."


Nine and a Half Months Later
by Marmalade Drizzle
"Come on one more big push. It will be so worth it - trust me! ..."

duck on wheels

Helen's Riposte
by JustJennyDarling
"Within this shrine she lay, this was her bed ..."

Norman Painting

Elegy for Phil (and Norman)
by Lady Macbeth
"Now Phil has gone and leaves an empty space ..."


Jude's Journal: Not for Publication - yet.
by Vicky S
"Home to watch Clarkson DVD on pleb box. That man is a god! ..."


Pip's Diary. Secret DO NOT LOOK!
by typewright
"I hate Mum! She's so strict and she's got no right 2 cross-xamine me ..."


Groweeng pains
by DebZ
"Salieri, tell me you doan, you doan ... You nod haf tattoo?"


From Ambridge to Limerick - Part 8
by various
"The prospect of Chalkie's ill-will
Has given Matt Crawford the chill"


A matter of honour
by Anglo-Norman
"Once the duellists were in position, they turned to face each other ..."

ghost skeleton

The Door of the Lawson-Hopes
by Vicarshusband
"... she hears this sound. Tap, tap, tap it went, from inside the church ..."


Life at the Laurels
by Vicky S
"It was no bad thing she felt, to enhance her often remarked-upon resemblance to the late Hattie Jacques ..."

chained diary

Vicky Unmasked
by JustJanie
"How easily Mike played into my hands ..."


by Vicky S
"This is the hotel. Our room marked with a big X. For X rated!!!!!!!! Very comfy bed!! We didn't manage to get down to breakfast this morning ..."

martial arts

Chalk Dust
by Vicky S
"She pushed her breathing into 'shuli', sleeping dragon mode, aware of the instantaneous increase of oxygen surging through her body ..."

gagged man

Silent Episode
by Sixties Relic
"Lambs frolicking on Lakey Hill. Baaing and frolicking noises ..."

mobile phone

Poor old Tom
by loveinamist
"Tom Archer sighed as the text came through. He checked the screen and then threw the phone onto the table ..."


Curd World
by Vicky S
"Helen ... hadn't felt like this since the night before they opened Ambridge Organics ..."


Haf youselfs a merree leedle Chreesmass ...
by DebZ
"Why do I haf water chute een hod tub?"


From Ambridge to Limerick - Part Seven
by various
"So Will has been put through the mangle,
Of losing in love's great triangle ..."


Jazzer's Jargon
by scotty
"Whit wid ye dae if wan o' ma lassies wuz hirplin'?"

Birthday Cards

Many Happy Returns of the Day
by Vicky S
"It seemed funny to Ruairi that Granny Peggy could be having a birthday when he was having one as well."


We is Family
by Deb Z
"You got off light," hissed Ron, "But then yous family, ain't you?"


Dashed hopes ...
by Deb Z
"Come on, come on, where can he bee?" Constanza tapped her hoof impatiently"


From Limerick to Ambridge - Part 6
by various
Norfolk's so dreadfully flat,
You would think you could not hide a cat,
But all Grundys know
Secret places to go
- and be found again - after a spat.


Matt discovers the truth
by Misty
Matt made his way to the bar to procure more ale for the lady, and thought that he may as well join her.

Angel of the North

A Monumental Dream
by Vicky S

"... you're the creative one here Mr Gormley, or can I call you Anthony ..."

  More Fantasies from Ambridge
Archers Parodies
Archers Parodies?
Go to our new Parodies page and choose from our literate and witty Archers parodies that range in style from Alan Clark's Diaries and Flashman to Georgette Heyer.
Fantasy Archers

Household Goods
by Vicky S

"... He breathed deeply until his heart stopped pounding ..."

Lower Loxley job ad

After Hours at Lower Loxley
by Vicarshusband

"... Nobody is irreplaceable. We should easily find someone ..."

door handle

Brenda's room
by Vicarshusband

"... how DARE you set foot in my room. Get out, Roy! ..."


Driving Lessons
by Vicarshusband

"... she reflected on how things were turning out. So Will wasn't quite what she'd expected ..."

No Smoking

Just Visiting
by Vicky S

"It was important to teach them right from wrong ..."

gin and tonic

It's Quarter to Three
by Piers Plowman

"I'm still attractive, aren't I. You find me attractive, don't you ..."


The Verdict
by Vicarshusband

An unsettling tale inspired by Taylor's rape trial


Chreesmas ees comeeng ...
by DebZ

"... Good Grief! Chreesmas cards alreadee! ..."

gin and tonic

It's Quarter to Three
by Piers Plowman

"I'm still attractive, aren't I. You find me attractive, don't you ..."


The Verdict
by Vicarshusband

An unsettling tale inspired by Taylor's rape trial


Chreesmas ees comeeng ...
by DebZ

"... Good Grief! Chreesmas cards alreadee! ..."


Eensuld an' eenjury
by DebZ
""He say," Wolfgang paused, apparently un-llama'd, "He say Leenda look like me!"


Siobhan's Revenge
by loveinamist
"Brian, dry eyed until now, had tears running down his face... "


From Ambridge to Limerick - Part Two
by various
"Now David has found a new lassie
Who he thinks is really quite sassy
The love of his life
Is no longer his wife
But a Massey with '64 chassis ... "


From Ambridge to Limerick - Part Four
by various
"That Nigel's become a wine-swigger
It's fired him with new vim and vigour
When not even drunk
He's taken a chunk
From his mansion - so lock up your digger ... "

my news

Lily's News
by Vicky S
"me and Freddie stayed at home mummy said for god's sake don't those teachers get enough time off ... "


From Ambridge to Eternity by inguanoveritas
"... he imagined the infinite generations of nameless ancestors who had surveyed the same scene from the same place ..."


Brian's alternative view
By lantana2
"I remember how she was when she found out about you and me four years ago. How can I ever ask her to raise your child ..."


Eensuld an' eenjury
by DebZ
""He say," Wolfgang paused, apparently un-llama'd, "He say Leenda look like me!"


Bess birthday efer
by DebZ
"Thad's right - you go haf rummage through Leenda's drawers!" sniggered Constanza ..."

Aladdin's lamp

The Legacy
by Vicky S
"... o"To Will," Will read , "From Aunty Hilda with love. Will, PLEASE open and read this letter." He started to open the envelope but a gasp from Nic stopped him. ..."


Sophie's Choices
by Vicky S
"... old people always enjoyed talking about traffic. Would traffic be better under current conversation though? A tricky one. She put a question mark next to traffic ..."

sad king

The Tragedy of King Brian
by Piers Plowman
"King Brian the Old, a great has-been,
Dozed peacefully beside his lady queen,
Whose children bickered o'er who'd come to own,
The kingdom, once Brian toppled from the throne."

The Ambridge Alternative
by Mandy Lifeboats
Come in" said Clive. "I've made a cup of tea for you and I cleaned up while I was waiting."


Mousie's Tale
By Vicky S
"Mousie didn't like thinking about Daddie. Daddie always held him too hard ..."

radioactive cow

by Anglo-Norman
"Not another reactor!" he cried. "...
I tell you, Alistair, I've had it up to here with these blasted nuclear cows!"


Freda's Story
by Misty Pond
"...He wouldn't have suffered, she mused, sipping her tea, after the number of diazepam she'd dissolved into his cocoa ..."


Nigel's Notebook
by Deborah Z
This enjoyable fantasy starts in a rather Wodehousian mode but ends in a territory altogether more mythical ...


The Changeling
by Aileen
"Emma had to know for sure. She had been lying awake trying to remember the baby's face ..."


TB or not TB...
by Cate O'Gorighal
"He pictured his brother-in-law donning the white overalls and loading his culling rifle ..."


Emma in Wonderland
by Ivana Goodtime
"he could barely tear his eyes away from her clinging white blouse, tourniquet-tight skirt and ..."

Sherlock Holmes

Ross's Blog
by typewright

"... Well, all I can say is, Ooh, vicar, don't get your knickers in a twist. ..."

organ pipes

The End of an Era
by inguanoveritas

"... the people of Ambridge left the churchyard to the gravediggers and the rooks ..."


Ged me to thee temple on time
by DebZ

"... I glad you feel thees way," he said, "Deed I mencíon I converdeeng to Buddhism? ..."

  More Fantasies from Ambridge
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