How Do I...

make words bold, italic or underlined?
You can't, unless you're using jont and Achilles' script, but at least if you see characters like the following examples, then you know why they are there. If you have installed the script:

To make words bold, put an asterisk either side of each word (it has to be done one word at a time):
single *bold* word; *multiple* *bold* *words* (*multiple bold words* won't work!)

For italic, put a forward slash either side of each word:
single /italic/ word; /multiple/ /italic/ /words/

To underline, put an underscore either side of each word:
single _underlined_ word; _multiple_ _underlined_ _words_

A combination of the above has to be done in the order slash-asterisk-underline at the beginning and underline-asterisk-slash at the end. Frequent previews of the message while experimenting can be very helpful.

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quote text in boxes?
Copy the text you want to quote from the relevant post. Then type <quote> and paste your copied bit of message after it. Next, finish the box with </quote>

Type your own comments after this. It's worth using the Preview button before posting, because any typos, spaces or missed angle brackets or slash will mean it won't work.

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include clickable links to websites?
If you want to put a link to a website (check the House Rules for links that are forbidden), just type the whole URL address, or copy it from the URL bar at the top of your browser window and paste it into your message. Make sure you include the http:// at the beginning. Again, use the Preview button to check that the link appears how you want it and is clickable. (In the Preview mode, the link will appear in black type, rather than the brown used in the final post, but if it is underlined try clicking on it.)

If you are linking to another page on a BBC message board (or on h2g2) you only need to include the board number and thread number. For example, F2693944?thread=3739536 links to the 'Using the Village Hall' thread. Quoting these shortened addresses is preferable because the whole link can be seen on the post, and when someone copies and pastes the link it will still work.

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clear my messages?
This is worth doing on a regular basis, because you can only unsubscribe from one thread at a time (unless you use jont and Achilles' script). Go into your h2g2 space (http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/) and select My Space in the left-hand column. From here, you should see all your BBC conversations (including those from any other boards other than ML that you use) and can delete any you wish by clicking the little 'x' to the left of it.

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contact the host of these boards?
Our host is Keri Davies; his email address is keri.davies@bbc.co.uk.

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exchange email addresses with someone?
Either both people have to email our host, Mr Keri (keri.davies@bbc.co.uk), to request an exchange of email addresses, or you become a member of the Lockin and exchange email addresses that way. You can also set up the facility for people to be able to send you emails in Peet's Place without revealing your address. (However, once someone has emailed you through Peet's, your email address will be revealed to them if you reply.) For security reasons, it's wise not to use an email address that contains your real name, or a work address. And don't use a signature that gives out your personal contact details.

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make smileys?
This board does not have the facility to produce smileys, i.e. actual cartoon smiling faces. However you can still use text-based emoticons (emotional icons): things like :-) or >:o(

If you tilt your head to the left, these can suggest faces smiling, frowning etc, They can be helpful to indicate your mood, particularly if you are being ironic. For example: "I take great offence at that :o)" shows that you are just having a joke. There are huge numbers of emoticons. If you want to know more see the High-Tech Dictionary.

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A history of the Archers message boards
(Provided by Meen Bonkers)

In the early days of internet newsgroups in the 1990s, some Archers listeners set up UMRA (UK/Media/Radio/Archers). This was the first Archers forum on the internet. Later in the 1990s, the Archers Addicts started their own message board.

At around the same time, the BBC started a number of message boards, including one for Radio 4. In the following months, topics were added such as Woman's Hour, Home Truths, Points of View, Questions, Questions, and one dedicated to the Archers. These boards had a blue background and soon became known as "The Blueys". Board posters were few to begin with and soon conversations developed, encouraged, as long as we stayed on topic (up to a point!) by our host.

As people "got to know" each other better, it became increasingly difficult to stay on topic; posters developed ingenious methods to talk about off-topic matters such as ironing, by decamping to the Woman's Hours boards, or post recipes for concrete - yes, this really did happen - hidden in a comment on a current storyline. At the same time, various fantasy stories, poems and parodies appeared and, before long, it was clear that a single Archers board was not enough.

So a separate Archers message board was born in late 2000, with two topics - Current Storylines (later Discuss the Archers) and Notes and Queries. Over the following months, Fantasy Archers and The Bull, a space to chat about non-Archers topics, were added. At the time The Bull appeared, in August 2001, the boards turned from blue to mustard-coloured.

In these days, the boards closed overnight, and so some enterprising posters set up The Lockin and Peet's Place, both external boards which were open 24 hour a day.

The Bull Upstairs was born when party threads started to take up a lot of space in The Bull, and is now reserved for spoilers and word games. The Village Hall was set up to give space to the increasing number of special-interest groups that were being created. In 2007 a topic was added for listeners to the Sunday omnibus who found their listening pleasure spoiled by discussions earlier in the week. In the same year the message board was shortlisted in the Digital Communites category of the prestigious Prix Ars Electronica.

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Guide to dealing with trolls and other difficult situations
(Provided by Laura in Lothian)

A troll is, in brief, someone who gains pleasure by causing disruption, upset and damage on a message board. More details of what trolls do can be found at www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm - this site is updated regularly, and is very clear in explaining about trolls and why it's so important not to respond to them. Even posting messages about trolls being around provides material for trolls to work from.

The only effective way to deal with a post you suspect to be from a troll is to take one of two options:

Ignore or catpee (complain about this post)

If the post breaks House Rules, then catpee it, stating the rule it breaks. Let the moderators sort it out.

If the post doesn't break House Rules but is still nasty, then ignore it. Do not respond to it in any way.

Ignore it especially if it is a personal attack on a poster. The troll is looking for any response, even a negative one. Trolls cannot be reasoned with and they will not listen to what you say. They are after attention, even negative attention, so ignoring them is the best way to get them to go away. Trolls appear to communicate with each other in cyberspace and if a MB reacts to a troll, then it can lead to other trolls arriving in the days or weeks following.

Also, never name a poster as being a troll unless you have incontrovertible evidence. A lot of hurt and damage and insecurity in all posters can be caused by accidentally naming a poster as a troll when they aren't.

Remember, there are only two effective responses to trolls: ignore or catpee.

(Further information can be found at web.archive.org.)

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Spat-o-meter scale
(Provided by Calamity Jane)
1. Calm - someone posts an innocuous message on the message board.
2. Scuffle - another person says "ooh, that wasn't funny/fair/kind".
3. Tussle - a few more people get involved either to back up the original poster or to agree with the dissenter. Someone says "I find that very offensive".
4. Scrap - serious insults start to appear. First catpee occurs. Thread reaches 50 replies.
5. Fracas - spat really gets going as people threaten to leave. Plaintive cries of "why can't we all be nice?" can be heard.
6. Affray - first mention of newbies v. oldies. People are accused of hi-jacking the thread for their own agenda.
7. Fight - first flounce occurs. The thread now has over 100 replies.
8. Punch-up - hosts get involved. Thread no longer makes sense as most of it has been catpeed.
9. Brawl - first mention of 'cliques'. More flouncing. High number of 'please don't go' posts can be observed. Wendy swears.
10. All-out war - multiple flouncing. Thread now covers six pages. Spat enters Mustardland folklore.

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Mike's Laws of Mustardland
1. When an actor hasn't appeared for several months it is always claimed that it is a different actor or he/she is suffering from a bad cold. (first posted 19/9/04)

2. Every two weeks somebody appears and deplores how TA is becoming like Eastenders. "Why can't we return to the good old days?", they say, conveniently ignoring all those old TA stories involving violent deaths (Bob Larkin, John Archer), illegitimate babies (Adam), kidnapping (Adam again), spies, mail-van robberies etc etc. (29/9/04)

3. Any bad thing that happens in Ambridge is Shula's fault (according to Mike). (29/9/04)

4. All new characters in TA are believed to have the wrong accent, particularly the children who always sound like Little Lord Fauntleroy (or the female equivalent). (30/9/04)

5. Posters always complain that the weather in Ambridge is completely different from wherever they are. All these complaints completely ignore how far they are from Ambridge and the well known facts that the programme is recorded several weeks in advance and the unreliability of weather forecasts. (30/9/04)

6. Calls for self-restraint on the part of posters always fall on deaf ears. (8/10/04) 7. Most of the time most posters are complaining about most of the storylines. (Corollary: one poster can always be found to complain about any storyline.) (12/10/04)

8. More than anything else the overwhelming majority posters enjoy a really good spat and the resulting flounces and apologies. Threads dealing with spats and apologies go on for days and days... (14/10/04)

9. The published opening times are always incorrect. (21/10/04) (This is no longer true as the boards are now open round the clock, but it was the case for a very long time.)

10. The most Frequently Asked Question in Mustardland is: "Where/how did Shula and Kenton get their names?" The regular posters get so fed up answering this query that they invent completely spurious answers to amuse each other. (26/10/04)

11. A couple of times a year somebody asks: "If you all hate many of the characters so much and you think most of the storylines are rubbish, why do you carry on listening and posting about them on here?". Many attempts have been made to answer this question but currently it is thought that it may be impossible to find an answer which convinces those who ask it. As the wise man said: "In a very real sense the casserole is here, all around us." (27/10/04)

12. Several posters always claim that the voice of each new character is indistinguishable from an existing character. Confusingly, several different existing characters are always cited in each case. (31/10/04)

13. All posters are equal but some posters are more equal than others. Newbies get regularly told off for behaviour and attitudes that are tolerated/ ignored in the posts of others. (6/11/04)

14. Every week somebody asks why the character biographies on the website are not up to date. (3/10/05)

15. The most Frequently Asked Question in Mustardland is no longer: "Where/how did Shula and Kenton get their names?"; it is now: "Can you tell which of two brothers is the father of a child by DNA testing?" (4/10/05)

16. If any character develops a new interest or behaves in a way they have not previously, it is claimed that they are behaving "out of character" and that this is yet another example of the current low standards of storyline plotting and scriptwriting. (23/09/06)

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Who are Jont and Achilles, and what is their script?
Achilles Grytpype-Thynne and studioj (aka jont) have written a fantastically clever script, which augments the features of the boards and makes use of the boards far easier.

The script allows you to do things such as colour-coding particular users, adding your own notes to posters' names, time-stamping posts, changing the look of the message board, and unsubscribing from threads via the standard message board "Your Discussions" page. Other features make the navigation of the board and individual threads easier.

The script can be used with the Firefox browser (along with a Firefox extension called "Greasemonkey") or the Opera browser, but not other popular browsers such as Internet Explorer or Safari. Note: you are not restricted to using just one browser on your computer; there is no problem installing and running multiple browsers, even simultaneously, on a single computer.

See jont's page for details of what it can do and how to install and use it. This page also includes instructions and links for installing the required browsers.

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Links to other Archers sites

The Lockin
An alternative forum, with email exchange and photo hosting

Peet's Place
An emulation of the BBC forum, also with email exchange and photo hosting

Archers Addicts
Ambridge's self-styled 'official fan club'

Saddicts.com
'The unofficial and unauthorized Archers of Ambridge website'

@rchers @narchists
'The Archers are real. There is no cast.'

Borsetshire Families
'...derived from the BBC Radio 4 "Fly-on-the-wall documentary" known as the The Archers...'

The Archers plot summaries
Hosted by lowfield.co.uk

UMRA
Web pages for the 'uk.media.radio.archers' newsgroup

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