Grey Gables - what if ...?
20 April 2006

It's official - Grey Gables is changing hands for the first time in almost 35 years. But what if Jack had sold out to a chain, a conglomerate, or, worse still, Matt Crawford! How would a different decision have affected those in and around Ambridge?
Sara Coward (Caroline Pemberton)

Chain gang
Ian has no desire to work for a chain so would have left to set up his own restaurant. But where? Borchester? Brighton? Belfast? With his flair for both cuisine it would no doubt be a resounding success. For partner Adam, however, it would have been a quandary. Follow Ian to wherever he was wielding his double-sided olive de-stoner or stay on at Home Farm? It's taken him long enough to find true love, so we reckon he'd have gone, despite Brian's inevitable accusations of disloyalty - and maybe even disinheritance.

With Adam gone, however, there would be a Debbie-shaped opening at Home Farm. She Who Can Do No Wrong would no doubt have been recalled from the Eastern Front to take charge on the Home Front - and cosy up to Brian in the process.

Job security
Roy has job security, in theory, but could fail to get on with the new owners, or have found himself ejected in favour of one of their home-grown management geeks. Reluctant to move because of Mike, he might have gone for a bit of creative thinking (and job creation), suggesting Elizabeth and Nigel beef up their conference business by offering rooms for overnights. With Julia gone, there'd be less resistance to the great unwashed (even in executive tailoring) sleeping in the ancient four-posters. Good plan, Roy.

For Lynda, however, it's a different story. Can you imagine any chain with a business model which could accommodate her, er, unique, personality? No, we can't either. Ousted, she does however win her constructive dismissal case and, living off the proceeds, would have the time and energy to throw herself into her role as parish councillor, taking up ever more crazy causes. Villagers are dazzled by reflective signage and flashing "reduce your speed" warnings and have their vertebrae joggled by numerous mini-roundabouts and speed bumps. Meanwhile the parent of any child caught dropping a sweet wrapper in the playground has to attend parenting classes. A spell in the stocks is reintroduced for picking wildflowers or failing to use the pooper scoopers, which have been delivered to every house in Ambridge along with colour-coded boxes for recycling every form of household waste.

Time for a change
Trudy, who's already given notice she won't work for Caroline and clearly feels it's time for a change, is after a new role. Lilian steps in and smartly offers her the job of Matt's PA, cunningly pre-empting any repeat of the Jade saga.

Higgs, of course, would simply retire and grow chrysanthemums. But every action has a reaction and it's bad news for other contenders at the Flower and Produce Show.

A longer version of this article appears in the latest edition of the Ambridge Voice, the magazine of our official fan club. For details of how to subscribe go to Archers Addicts.

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